tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89496146514169281912024-03-12T22:15:41.758-06:00Viking SamuraiCraighttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03917871282489385861noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949614651416928191.post-84590446526081146772023-02-17T15:31:00.001-06:002023-02-17T15:31:12.813-06:00The Order of Myths<p><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"> Disclaimer: The following post is not in the scope of this blog, but I had a a strong reaction to this documentary and have thoughts about it. Besides that, its been an obscenely long time since I have posted anything here.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVw1V5w8Mi6Ho2mZDuNRIFGajV_cAwWXfqC6jK0zfcwIY7SjcXmluUHOhzykZhjn8MqnKwQph4Xuu2rdfX_lXVDp8Ybrjqy65-iSMi1mGk3rDDvaiMl_ejYiNwfN_eyKGKbPd2iBvPPE5_2ycdz7jFtNRQfsBZNm0pivOolRnoyENcflQYHlLhNCJa/s323/Order_of_myths.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><img border="0" data-original-height="323" data-original-width="220" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVw1V5w8Mi6Ho2mZDuNRIFGajV_cAwWXfqC6jK0zfcwIY7SjcXmluUHOhzykZhjn8MqnKwQph4Xuu2rdfX_lXVDp8Ybrjqy65-iSMi1mGk3rDDvaiMl_ejYiNwfN_eyKGKbPd2iBvPPE5_2ycdz7jFtNRQfsBZNm0pivOolRnoyENcflQYHlLhNCJa/s320/Order_of_myths.jpg" width="218" /></span></a></div><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><p><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">I am admittedly not a film expert, have never made a documentary, and probably never will, but I do watch a many of them and believe that I am a fairly decent judge of their quality. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">That being said, I truly hated 2008's The Order of Myths, and I apologize in advance.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">The film, directed by <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Margaret_Brown_(film_director)">Margaret Brown</a>, is about <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mardi_Gras_in_Mobile,_Alabama">Mardi Gras in Mobile, AL</a>, which which has a long history, dating back to the 1700s. While it does begin as a history of the season, it devolves into a statement about racism, classicism, and slavery. While all of that is certainly worth </span><span style="font-size: medium;">analyzing</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">, I got the sense that she likely deceived many of her interview subjects, as to the purpose of this film.</span></span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">While it seems to be a current practice for some documentarians (Michael Moore, Morgan Spurlock, etc.) to deceptively edit interviews, in order to put the subjects in a bad light, they at least seem to have been upfront about the intent of the film. </span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">Considering that some of the cringeworthy things that a few of the white subjects say, they had likely been led to believe that Brown, a Mobile native, was acting in good faith. I seriously doubt that she forewarned them, some being family members and people she had grown up with, that she was going to make them look like racists.</span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 29px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Maybe they are racist or just isolated or insensitive, I don't know. On the other hand, she may have selectively edited out qualifying statements or their comments about lower class whites, which I would guess were probably made. Again, I don't know, but many appear to be aristocratic and any of those could </span>possibly<span style="font-family: inherit;"> be the case.</span></span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 29px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The thesis of the documentary was that the major organizations are racist, because they are segregated. I </span>believe<span style="font-family: inherit;"> that is probably a fair criticism, particularly with the main Mardi Gras organization, the Mobile Carnival Association, which is made up of the aforementioned aristocrats.</span></span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 29px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">To illustrate that point, she tells the story of the Clotilda (more about that later) since she was contrasting MCA with the Mobile Area Mardi Gras Association (MAMGA), which is the alternative organization whose members are descendants of the slaves who were carried over on that ship, while the Queen of the MCA in the year that she was filming was a descendant of the scumbag who chartered the ship.</span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 29px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">For background, US participation in the slave trade was banned by Congress in 1807, but continued illegally through the 1850s, and the Clotilda was the last one known slave ship to arrive on our shores, in 1860. </span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 29px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 29px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">The story goes that Timothy Meaher, a shipbuilder, on a bet, chartered the it to carry 124 slaves from Africa to Mobile. When the ship arrived, he told the captain that he was going to collect on his bet and to scuttle the ship if he wasn’t back before a certain time. He didn’t make it back in time and the ship was scuttled, killing some of the slaves, while the rest escaped and settled in Plateau, which later became known as Africatown.</span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 29px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 29px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">Anyway, back to the main story. She used the MCA Queen’s ancestry as a vehicle for reinforcing her message. The poor girl had nothing to do with the events of over 150 years earlier. Sins of the father being projected onto descendants always nauseates me, even considering my dislike for aristocracy.</span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 29px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 29px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">On top of that, Brown is Old Mobile, and her grandmother was an MCA Queen back in the 1930s. She used her background for getting access to the inner workings of the organizations, and, again, apparently didn’t disclose the purpose of her film. </span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 29px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 29px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">She interviewed two of her grandparents and I believe that it put them in a very poor light, because of some of the stories that they told and and comments that were made. I sensed a violation of trust, because I doubt that she told them that she was going to make them look like unreformed racists. </span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 29px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 29px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">She also interviewed members of some members of newer organizations, who are not part of the aristocracy. Granted, I was really taken aback by some of the things that one of them, who was wisely in costume, said, that even the most objective person could </span>probably<span style="font-family: inherit;"> view as being racist.</span></span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 29px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">I will give Brown some credit in that she at least admits in her frequent self-inserts that she’s making the film because of her politics and the guilt that she feels about being part of the aristocracy. </span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 29px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 29px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">To be clear, I don’t really care about how she made the MCA look, because I’ve never liked it, I guess because of my blue collar background, and have always thought a Mardi Grass Court was boring and stupid.</span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 29px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">My problem with the film is that I sense that she made the film in an underhanded way. It bears repeating that I seriously doubt that she was upfront with the MCA participants, because it’s hard for me to believe that they would have otherwise said the things that they did or let her film. </span>However<span style="font-family: inherit;">, it does appear that the MAMGA participants had been aware of her intentions.</span></span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">I understand that the focus of a documentary may change as it is being made, but, it seems to me, the directors tend to clearly state whether that was the case. The statements that Brown makes throughout the film indicate that was not the case here, and, I believe, that she was acting in bad faith. Maybe I’m wrong, but that’s the impression that I got.</span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">On the other hand, the parts about MAMGA were quite excellent and interesting. Brown later followed up that part with a film about the Clotilda and the residents of Africatown, in 2022's <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt16376494/?ref_=nm_knf_t_2">Descendant</a>. </span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 29px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 29px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">That being said, it is a competently made film, but I don’t believe that it was made in an ethical manner, but what do I know? </span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 29px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 29px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;">The Order of Myths is available on Netflix, Kanopy, and Mubi, and I give it 2 out of 5 Sugar Beads.</span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 29px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-color: white; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 29px;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/-desPqfCl6M" width="320" youtube-src-id="-desPqfCl6M"></iframe></div><br /><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><p></p><div><br /></div>Craighttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03917871282489385861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949614651416928191.post-56828115713310400122016-07-19T13:33:00.001-06:002016-07-19T13:34:10.609-06:0013 Assassins (1963)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMpDSqQh3QmqTthOP_nXP5TPJAapapUJvvJGwzz2hyphenhyphenuBp5TagBApwlKzfD5X3wXvDdhXzBtgBIFQ2PwB7L2_7yruMBmLS_1ia8IkhzLq7bONqXSei3hMp3jUqp6GSAYpKW7KcXBzSUQaU/s1600/13+assassins+poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMpDSqQh3QmqTthOP_nXP5TPJAapapUJvvJGwzz2hyphenhyphenuBp5TagBApwlKzfD5X3wXvDdhXzBtgBIFQ2PwB7L2_7yruMBmLS_1ia8IkhzLq7bONqXSei3hMp3jUqp6GSAYpKW7KcXBzSUQaU/s320/13+assassins+poster.jpg" width="224" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">We all have things about us that we want to keep hidden.
These things can be small (chronic flatulence) or large (an arrest). To hide
those things, whatever they may be, we create stories or other ways to hide or
obscure them. The hiding is also something done by cultures and countries, to
cover less flattering things about their history. In Japan, they have specific
words for this:</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><b> </b>Honne and Tatemae.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">Honne</span><b style="color: #222222; font-family: Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span></b><span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">is what is true, or what actually happened, while Tatemae is what
others need to see, or the official story. While, in modern times, the Honne
has been difficult to hide, it appears that the Tatemae runs rampant in the
history of Feudal Japan, where the honor of the Samurai and other castes, and
their ingrained need to protect their masters' honor was used as a tool to
facilitate Tatemae. Supposedly, the story of the 13 Assassins is
supposedly based on actual events that fell victim to Tatemae**.</span><span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">My reason for that assertion is that I've read that the
story is actually part of Japanese lore, but there is no official record.***
The story has been filmed at least twice, in 1963, and again in 2011. I
have previously reviews the <a href="http://www.vikingsamurai.org/2012/06/13-assassins.html">remake</a>, but just recently got around to this
version.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">13 Assassins (Juzan-nin no Shikaku) is set during the Japan's feudal period.
Lord Naritsuga, brother of the Shogun is cruel, and terrorizes the citizens
under his rule, and is allowed to, because of his familial connection. Even
worse, he is soon to be elevated to a loftier position, where he will gain even
more authority, with much less accountability.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">The elder council decided that they must stop his
ascent. In order to do this, they approach Shinzaemon (Shinza), who is
something of a Marshall. He is reluctant to take up the mission, until a
villager, whose son and daughter-in-law (after she was raped) were murdered by
Narigatsu. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhoti-ZojA9j-tCMp4nKZSj6HvpJ_qfI8AJ80JnFOgY7EVjJIdz4QXajgTiz4y0OL-3NhgtwoZIMIy6kqBf1umzIY8bnrmHNWXBCP2h7spvOchF-MyC6TrRjEVxAGcOdviKR__r-02hoY/s1600/13+Assassins+decision+time.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="153" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhoti-ZojA9j-tCMp4nKZSj6HvpJ_qfI8AJ80JnFOgY7EVjJIdz4QXajgTiz4y0OL-3NhgtwoZIMIy6kqBf1umzIY8bnrmHNWXBCP2h7spvOchF-MyC6TrRjEVxAGcOdviKR__r-02hoY/s320/13+Assassins+decision+time.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;">Shinza's moment of decision</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">After Shinza accepts the task, which of course the
elders will disavow any knowledge of, he sets out to assemble his group of
assassins. They consist of various ronin, other Marshals, and a country
samurai.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix71AjuNMluACcy_trmL9qTZihcH22ccISsTogO1LLUsCsKOL5XGoY7LY8SmSyhVO0duyLN72UJu3Yuz9TIcww6ykQpeVmuNIqNhhfmOcLehu8pg8Z1NwFVWin-XCWwxQI-74aWyDTuA0/s1600/Assassins+assembled.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="148" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix71AjuNMluACcy_trmL9qTZihcH22ccISsTogO1LLUsCsKOL5XGoY7LY8SmSyhVO0duyLN72UJu3Yuz9TIcww6ykQpeVmuNIqNhhfmOcLehu8pg8Z1NwFVWin-XCWwxQI-74aWyDTuA0/s320/Assassins+assembled.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;">Assassins assemble!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">Hanbei, Narigatsu's head of security, gets wind of the
plot, and after failed attempts by spies to gain evidence, confronts Shinza,
but is unable to get him to admit to anything. As a result, he is unable to
take any direct action, and is left to plan for any traps the assassins may
set.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">This all leads to Narigatsu eventually
embarking on a tour of his domain, and Shinza seeing an opportunity to complete
his mission. Through various machinations, the assassins are able to end Narigatsu's
reign of terror.</span><span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRKwuXLmCyt1WqquLfpMvt5tfQvmEsh4D98y4LExQYMWr_zHQnib0SIHQX-PMlSz2DNYMv9C7cg7x4wtHYqPcYg2aE1cfOvw4U1wfKPpsB0wXoC9ypiEaeAKrhuEAhFQYpQmme2JspiTM/s1600/13+Assassins+duel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRKwuXLmCyt1WqquLfpMvt5tfQvmEsh4D98y4LExQYMWr_zHQnib0SIHQX-PMlSz2DNYMv9C7cg7x4wtHYqPcYg2aE1cfOvw4U1wfKPpsB0wXoC9ypiEaeAKrhuEAhFQYpQmme2JspiTM/s1600/13+Assassins+duel.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;">One of Hanbei and Shinza's confrontations</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span><span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">This is a truly great film. The story is engaging, the
cast is magnificent, and the requisite battle is appropriately climactic.</span></div>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">One of the things that I like
about the Samurai-era period films is how politics and various codes can drive
the story. An example of this is how while Hanbei clearly loathes Narigatsu,
and is clearly an honorable man, he is bound by duty to serve his master.</span><span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">To further illustrate this,
he knows that Shinza is clearly up to something, but will not act on the
knowledge, because he is unable to find any proof. However, an unfortunate
aspect of Hanbei being duty-bound is that in spite of his loathing of Narigatsu,
his duty prevents him from taking action himself.</span><span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQVJvo2NmXY3vX0Qi_yS4pHfAzN5jVfrGiXbmTUtC6Htsmgg-IG8dGAQKeVRfoRZBjb0UDVLj5X6hY60wDiHE_4bQA6Kv00Nw2kdTMlc44scXWgO7RVnS4qKpuQaKVvNVvuoZ3mMl1FOg/s1600/13+Assassins+war+council.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQVJvo2NmXY3vX0Qi_yS4pHfAzN5jVfrGiXbmTUtC6Htsmgg-IG8dGAQKeVRfoRZBjb0UDVLj5X6hY60wDiHE_4bQA6Kv00Nw2kdTMlc44scXWgO7RVnS4qKpuQaKVvNVvuoZ3mMl1FOg/s1600/13+Assassins+war+council.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;">The Assassins' war council</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I have read that this film, and many of the period
pieces of the era, is supposed to be a parody of sorts of the Bushido. I guess
the parody is supposed to be of the characters being bound to their duties out
of a sense of honor, even though they know what's required of them is wrong (in
Hanbei's case), or almost certain to fail (the assassins). Personally, I didn't
see it that way. I saw it as a story of loyalty, honor, and courage, much like
films like Platoon and Full Metal Jacket were supposed to be anti-war have been
embraced by people who aren't anti-war as great war movies.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOxgeNOgYHIZD-Op7AhIqId1_lYmGeGNvaQIvCIOe1Zn2NKTpDHv8tuXWB8SwgySV5Cp1GUf7j1l1zg5CPKwE_geFGiV4pOmltziKgcL7k3B-ZptTgRjDBts4UoCNsHkipwZtjHSiJUzs/s1600/13+Assassins+showdown.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOxgeNOgYHIZD-Op7AhIqId1_lYmGeGNvaQIvCIOe1Zn2NKTpDHv8tuXWB8SwgySV5Cp1GUf7j1l1zg5CPKwE_geFGiV4pOmltziKgcL7k3B-ZptTgRjDBts4UoCNsHkipwZtjHSiJUzs/s1600/13+Assassins+showdown.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;">Hanbei and Shinza's final showdown</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">The scenes between Shimza and Hanbei, of two different
generations of warriors, one weary, and the other brash, are particularly
tense, with two actors in fine form. As well as those, the tactics each uses to
try to get the upper-hand on the other are quite fascinating, as is the way a
village is transformed into a killing ground for the finale.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">The action sequences are well-done, the acting is fantastic,
and intentionally or not, the film does a good job of explaining the Japanese
feudal system, which can be confusing. The only drawback, go me, not
necessarily the film's, is that it was sometimes difficult to keep with
characters' names. As a Westerner and English speaker, I sometimes got a little
lost with names, especially since some characters were often referred to
several different ways. Also, I would often get lost in thought, trying to
determine what a certain title was equivalent to in Western systems, and would
have to rewind, to catch parts that I'd missed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span><span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">I give it four out of five, and highly recommend it. I
also recommend Takishi Miike's <a href="http://www.vikingsamurai.org/2012/06/13-assassins.html">remake</a>^, which was very faithfully made. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">13 Assassins is available on Amazon Video, Hoopla, and other streaming services, as well as on DVD.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpWiG6lkTHkIf1BNKxoFd89L6_SmwhmDtpCQUuJWy-A7CCaNdn7XmPknPOHDIDfEQopuk3g1n4Pb8_01oTIA6yMlUjte5HS2oS66lBm5Ad1x4G6aLyAv4XmguwL4u1-ziTjV2gRRt_bUY/s1600/Belushi+Samurai.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpWiG6lkTHkIf1BNKxoFd89L6_SmwhmDtpCQUuJWy-A7CCaNdn7XmPknPOHDIDfEQopuk3g1n4Pb8_01oTIA6yMlUjte5HS2oS66lBm5Ad1x4G6aLyAv4XmguwL4u1-ziTjV2gRRt_bUY/s320/Belushi+Samurai.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;">Oddly absent from this version, as well as the remake</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">* This is a hobby for me, so
if I'm wrong, give me a break. You get what you pay for with me.</span><span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">** Seriously, see the first
note.</span><span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">*** See above.</span><span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">^ Seriously, go read that
<a href="http://www.vikingsamurai.org/2012/06/13-assassins.html">post</a>.</span><span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/dpLrakV9hdQ/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/dpLrakV9hdQ?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
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Craighttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03917871282489385861noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949614651416928191.post-12882031819055433482015-11-09T08:00:00.000-06:002015-11-09T15:56:12.220-06:00Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_3WkF5Vdcne1c1kGPJXGK1wvSGz9bAOJx0RHiR1bPq_r56JfCpnCsnf4TiUrLAsMDz6_e2FOUH6iiRtcjXgd7K8bb2kaZ_F7cZ8XZGo8Wbsj6d_PIZFuL-tRqWFVNJvTTTwINRgt8rPk/s1600/Dead+Snow+Poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_3WkF5Vdcne1c1kGPJXGK1wvSGz9bAOJx0RHiR1bPq_r56JfCpnCsnf4TiUrLAsMDz6_e2FOUH6iiRtcjXgd7K8bb2kaZ_F7cZ8XZGo8Wbsj6d_PIZFuL-tRqWFVNJvTTTwINRgt8rPk/s1600/Dead+Snow+Poster.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">If I
had the financing, or creativity, or technical ability, or attention span, I
would make Nazi zombie movie. Nazis and zombies (as has been mentioned <a href="http://www.vikingsamurai.org/2014/07/zombie-lake-how-to-not-do-zombie-movie.html">here</a>
before) are perfect antagonists, because of their relentlessness. Very few
films have been made that have combined the two, which may not necessarily be a
bad thing. At this point in time, it seems that pop culture has probably
reached Peak Zombie. There are a multitude of movies that have been made, and
books published, about zombies, so much so to the point that they are hard to
escape. While zombies have long been my favorite monsters, frankly, I'm almost
sick of them. Not only are people constantly talking about a zombie apocalypse,
which at one point was an interesting exercise, but has become tiresome. </span> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 10.5pt;">One
benefit about there being so few movies that have combined zombies and Nazis is
that it allows for the freedom to break free of the typical Outbreak/Attack -
Siege - Escape formula, and to play with the rules of the sub-genre, which is done in this film. Not only
have few of this type of film been made, they have historically not lived up to
their potential. Norway's <a href="http://www.vikingsamurai.org/2012/07/dead-snow-aint-oscar-pic-but-it-is-fun.html">Dead Snow</a> was the first to fulfill the promise
of the combination. Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead (RVD, not to be confused with </span><span style="font-size: 14px;">professional</span><span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"> wrestler Rob Van Dam), this time an
American-Norwegian co-production, continues the story.</span></span></span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9C1VVIlCbViFAkzcZPYrfcvN3MVda1-5IqqWkDgxbiAjkDbvm_sUUMeik7eAtkW2PwxdJyGpTkOqNygoEuxRfwgEkQYmWApbiX-09mS_1g8DB-ePcoErKactEXJYClkYxA4Hy7WUZaQw/s1600/RVD.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9C1VVIlCbViFAkzcZPYrfcvN3MVda1-5IqqWkDgxbiAjkDbvm_sUUMeik7eAtkW2PwxdJyGpTkOqNygoEuxRfwgEkQYmWApbiX-09mS_1g8DB-ePcoErKactEXJYClkYxA4Hy7WUZaQw/s1600/RVD.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not appearing in this film, which is unfortunate, because he might need the work.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"><span style="color: red;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">RVD
picks up right where the original left off, with Martin, the sole survivor,
escaping from the zombie horde, after he and some friends had stumbled upon
their treasure. After crashing his car during the getaway, Martin wakes up in a
hospital, to find that he is under arrest as a suspect in the death of his
friends (he did accidentally kill his girlfriend). As usual, the cops, who are wonderfully inept, don't
believe his zombie alibi, and treat him as a suspect. In addition to being
under arrest, he finds that the doctors, thinking that they had reattached his
arm (which he had sawed off in the original), actually had attached the zombie
arm of Major Herzog, the leader of the Nazi zombies, which had been ripped off
during his escape. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUZ0rQvtdsQ3BLIlIzvjQTN-sloFDQP8qd1G91vqwpmCyLu0gcY9NOyafbJEL25SRx6X13gogVdXiUqrpst8j7i9jAKQNofG6ZS6a0YT-cvUlwIL4Br8T3Ok71qtIp7hc3IwoAEIXxpyo/s1600/Herzog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUZ0rQvtdsQ3BLIlIzvjQTN-sloFDQP8qd1G91vqwpmCyLu0gcY9NOyafbJEL25SRx6X13gogVdXiUqrpst8j7i9jAKQNofG6ZS6a0YT-cvUlwIL4Br8T3Ok71qtIp7hc3IwoAEIXxpyo/s1600/Herzog.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Handsome devil, isn't he?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"><span style="color: red;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">The
new arm has super strength, but still acts as if it's controlled by its
previous owner. It does help him escape from the hospital and police, but
leaves a trail of death and destruction in its wake, because it does what it
needs to in order to survive. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguPv_kFyeC5561d-SeLd0CvFb1fch110Wi3U8_uEYwAKO6_mEhZK_0z1A335v1mZei-E82YM_QyIUE9rbbnRxmhZpRV4bUY7aCADYlgxrtpp_hxv1NQhxHM_61-YRWRGCfL24zxf9C8Xg/s1600/Martin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguPv_kFyeC5561d-SeLd0CvFb1fch110Wi3U8_uEYwAKO6_mEhZK_0z1A335v1mZei-E82YM_QyIUE9rbbnRxmhZpRV4bUY7aCADYlgxrtpp_hxv1NQhxHM_61-YRWRGCfL24zxf9C8Xg/s1600/Martin.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Martin taking the new arm for a test drive</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">Martin
finds that the Nazis, even after having recovered all of their treasure, are
still on a rampage. He discovers that Herzog and his horde (which has grown inexplicably
from the original) are still around because they are seeking to fulfill a
mission that Hitler had given them: to exterminate a nearby village, in
retaliation for some anti-Nazi sabotage committed during the war. </span></div>
</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">Along
the way, acquires allies of varying abilities, Glenn, a museum
employee, and the self-styled Zombie Squad, a trio of nerdy American
siblings who've been waiting and preparing for the zombie invasion that popular
media has taught them will surely come. Between discovering Herzog's mission
and gaining his allies, Martin discovers that Herzog can reanimate bodies,
which helps him in acquiring new minions. This new discovery helps him and his
team hatch a plan for stopping the zombies: to reanimate some Soviet
prisoners (who had been murdered by Herzog), in order to get them to fight the
Nazis. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt1F4MTVZ2MFUQUDlhL6FIecT96JgG9lB25VJvY87KRZlCH8cdhiY39nP7PGfTRGjcEVeU1fa9UK4d9IX8E3KHXsJAXd3Quz71Pus9dIZda1guQIS46Q1g9J0d1ryEx99ONZoKTTmX56E/s1600/rvd+touching.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt1F4MTVZ2MFUQUDlhL6FIecT96JgG9lB25VJvY87KRZlCH8cdhiY39nP7PGfTRGjcEVeU1fa9UK4d9IX8E3KHXsJAXd3Quz71Pus9dIZda1guQIS46Q1g9J0d1ryEx99ONZoKTTmX56E/s1600/rvd+touching.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A rare tender moment</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">After Martin reanimates
the Soviets, he and his team join together in battle against the zombies, and
as required, they are triumphant.</span></div>
</div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"><span style="color: red;">Not only is this a
fantastic sequel, it is a great movie in its own right. The effects are
quite effective, even to the point of Herzog and other zombies being able to
demonstrate facial expressions, which allows for some comedic effect, as they
respond to surrounding events. The Nazi uniforms appear to be quite authentic
and accurate, and they even have a Panzer!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"><span style="color: red;">There is a lot of gore,
much of it used for comic effect (entrails used for siphoning fuel from a bus,
to fuel the Panzer). However, be warned that the zombies, in line with their
evil nature, kill everyone in their path, including men,
women, and children.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYLMld5bX_NUV7LElLNPt13ixmMOIy36nYt-VIQTiKV6FB95eSxRun4qpwMFr-9mGK0_pcP3yb8y2WEoSpPTGcguATcIMvIGfOUS6Pi_k7J-s2t5hKcVo0UbcI6HDYHj6iR4D9_3cqPHA/s1600/Siphon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYLMld5bX_NUV7LElLNPt13ixmMOIy36nYt-VIQTiKV6FB95eSxRun4qpwMFr-9mGK0_pcP3yb8y2WEoSpPTGcguATcIMvIGfOUS6Pi_k7J-s2t5hKcVo0UbcI6HDYHj6iR4D9_3cqPHA/s1600/Siphon.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"This fuel won't siphon itself!" (Translated from German)</td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">There are a lot of comic
elements in RVD. The cops are completely unprepared, and the Chief
is completely inept. In addition to he and his force being small town, they
have watched way to many American cop shows/films, resulting in them
overestimating their abilities, leading to much misadventure. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"><span style="color: red;">Initially inept,
Martin's team, between their introduction, and becoming heroes, provide some
comedy as well. Particularly amusing is Sidekick Zombie (that's how he's listed
in the credits), the first zombie reanimated by Martin, who is subjected to a
lot of abuse, and follows him around like a puppy.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzkgbH2HkEsM7W2V5CbFkZzvak77r7jQ2UFEA8r5lcM4yVK-yteSWttJ6wYPFdkHuXfTF1b96S2YuVzUTdDqjtIdmDHGoW9adveq6Ilf8-kkyn9h0KlYrc8FFXoqFZUxd4UJYv_73LgwI/s1600/Sidekick.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzkgbH2HkEsM7W2V5CbFkZzvak77r7jQ2UFEA8r5lcM4yVK-yteSWttJ6wYPFdkHuXfTF1b96S2YuVzUTdDqjtIdmDHGoW9adveq6Ilf8-kkyn9h0KlYrc8FFXoqFZUxd4UJYv_73LgwI/s1600/Sidekick.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Martin, Martin, how I love Martin!" (Translated from zombie)</td></tr>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: black; font-size: 17.3333px;">Honestly, I only have two issues with this film. First, after all of the buildup, the titular Reds have woefully little screen time. Second, The Zombie Squad, intentionally or not, is extremely annoying.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTRnWiae3t95b4Y2l6_Fx3NHrAqDIa1a4XKHV_aqNN4BPY6f1BxLnjgOoJJLsb5yjHlEJ4MJ6EM3-qUyQoxDxXbWQDvxDbTIFk6RDE6pqMNdcTJHk41q_tcyr-CPLEHUbfBeEOYzDKYPQ/s1600/Zombie+Squad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTRnWiae3t95b4Y2l6_Fx3NHrAqDIa1a4XKHV_aqNN4BPY6f1BxLnjgOoJJLsb5yjHlEJ4MJ6EM3-qUyQoxDxXbWQDvxDbTIFk6RDE6pqMNdcTJHk41q_tcyr-CPLEHUbfBeEOYzDKYPQ/s1600/Zombie+Squad.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2/3 cute (l&r), 3/3 annoying</td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 17.3333px;">I can't recommend this film too highly. It is a really fun movie, that moves along at a fairly rapid pace, with few slow moments. There is a lot of humor, most of which hits the mark. Also, bonus points for historical accuracy. Herzog's group is identified as being Einsatz Grupen, which were actual Nazi death squads.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ4AmvcmL5iAx_D_e2BWhwNwCjs-DFXRyiIq21pd4on8hfcB8iZOPY3dBrVTEMQFEC1yeOq4WRoAdkS3gSk4kK0IzKJrM_Z6ZGhIfKC5WAtkK1eL75AzGei6M_9QSyAEM8gTtsULOsKno/s1600/Red+Zombie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ4AmvcmL5iAx_D_e2BWhwNwCjs-DFXRyiIq21pd4on8hfcB8iZOPY3dBrVTEMQFEC1yeOq4WRoAdkS3gSk4kK0IzKJrM_Z6ZGhIfKC5WAtkK1eL75AzGei6M_9QSyAEM8gTtsULOsKno/s1600/Red+Zombie.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I could've used more of this guy</td></tr>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 17.3333px;">While there are two versions of this film, one in English, and the other in Norwegian, with subtitles (a small loophole), I watched the former. </span></div>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: black; font-size: 17.3333px;">Content Warnings: There is quite a bit of profanity and gore.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: black; font-size: 17.3333px;">Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead is available on Netflix, Amazon Instant, and other streaming services. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: black; font-size: 17.3333px;">I give it 5 out of 5 reanimated zombies.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: red; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: black; font-size: 17.3333px;">Note: Stick around until after the credits.</span></span><br />
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Craighttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03917871282489385861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949614651416928191.post-54804550546264839592015-10-29T12:13:00.002-06:002015-10-29T12:13:48.834-06:00My Thoughts on The Saw Series<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;"><br /></span>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisaWYS9KbdPcym2fhhEzjgHwFROiOgUUIbZyGjYGIRWBADIu7ZajYhxpf8ejo2Li4teZYZZFjhlvbiGg65E8wTw50nPe1vHQ8dT2frAsqNHUJLPfH-HQ5Zl0okcvdT8jF1qaZSlfuEXSE/s1600/saw+poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisaWYS9KbdPcym2fhhEzjgHwFROiOgUUIbZyGjYGIRWBADIu7ZajYhxpf8ejo2Li4teZYZZFjhlvbiGg65E8wTw50nPe1vHQ8dT2frAsqNHUJLPfH-HQ5Zl0okcvdT8jF1qaZSlfuEXSE/s1600/saw+poster.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">Note: This post is a slight detour from the usual content, not a change in its mission.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">Up until this week, I have avoided the Saw series. I had done so because of it generally being classified as "torture porn". Human beings suffering (real or pretend) for entertainment purposes has never appealed to me.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">While I had seen the original, and found it to be an interesting and original concept, I really had no interest in seeing more of it. Quite obviously, multitudes of others felt differently. Their opinions were strong enough to result in *six* sequels.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">Why did I finally give in? First, the series, for good or ill, has become embedded in our culture. There have been parodies of it (Scary Movie), frequent references to it in our culture, and it has a regular presence in haunted houses. Secondly, I-V were on Netflix, and I could watch out of the corner of my eye, while doing other things..</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: red;"><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">I like suspenseful movies, and the first installment of the series fit that description. What can be more suspenseful than one's ability to solve a puzzle being a matter of life or death? Not much.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">This series does have plenty of puzzles, in the form of Rube Goldberg-type death machines. Unfortunately, most of them, even if the person is able to solve one, mutilates them irreparably. The alleged reason for people being placed in the "games" is to teach them to place a greater value on their lives, by testing their will to survive, or to "rehabilitate" them.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP8z1_uEZmn8v79LVQQwAUKKRs-eAQx8pbkDMt9aT-_d8nnPSDkbaFTxwFok0fY_cfDc_PHcVWc8Q4U78oD80Q3yQBuDzxLFWzYK5WIS_eu9tTWY_p4DtokYvvEWeMOga806v0VOMccoo/s1600/RubeGoldberg01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="249" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP8z1_uEZmn8v79LVQQwAUKKRs-eAQx8pbkDMt9aT-_d8nnPSDkbaFTxwFok0fY_cfDc_PHcVWc8Q4U78oD80Q3yQBuDzxLFWzYK5WIS_eu9tTWY_p4DtokYvvEWeMOga806v0VOMccoo/s320/RubeGoldberg01.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: red;">Rube seems to be a little too happy about the shotgun collar.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">Maybe I'm not as smart as I consider myself to be, but I just can't figure out how permanently disabling someone can help them become a better person.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: red;"><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">Additionally, even if someone does "win" the game, they seem to die more often than they don't. Many of the games are designed to be unwinnable, with ridiculously short times to solve them, and necessary appendages being rendered unusable for completion. That's just sadistic.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">Jigsaw frequently mentions "redemption". How can anyone be redeemed when they die, even after the "win"? It's just damn depressing.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">I'm a fairly open-minded person, and had been dubious of critics' hand wringing and clutching of pearls over this series being "torture porn". After watching the series, I have to acknowledge that they have a valid point..</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">In addition to the mentioned sadism, the supposed offenses of the victims are seriously out of proportion with their challenges/punishment. The popularity of this series, to me anyway, seems to be based on the brutal maiming and killing of characters, and the resulting gore.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: red;"><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">Does that make the people who enjoy these movies bad people? No, not necessarily, we all need our escapes, but life can be so depressing anyway, how are they helpful? Besides, I don't recall ever hearing of anyone trying to reenact any of the scenarios from the films.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">Is the popularity of these films a sign of the decline of our culture and moral rot? Maybe, I don't know, though I'm pretty doubtful that they're helpful.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: red;"><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">Are the movies all bad? No, there's actually quite a bit to like. First, the casting is quite great, including Cary Elwes, Dina Meyer, Michael Emerson, Danny Glover, Shawnee Smith (hubba, hubba), Donnie Wahlerg, Beverly Mitchell, Glenn Plummer, Costas Mandylor, Angus MacFadyen, and Julie Benz, among others. While it does remind me of an episode of The Love Boat or Fantasy Island, loaded with actors who were either still trying to make a name for themselves and those who had already peaked, it's still quite good.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-vG2RA2CQdR7b6o6dSAbTAl9R44o5bx1rhZq6DHEBPzNJH9RvMTfegDItsOa5nWt6p2ai7mc4huXW0l2FogkzgdFuZNSFS7WE23e8VPj4c3ovCdudYEKKEzbXPVw_8JCi4M-N19UWV9Y/s1600/love+boat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-vG2RA2CQdR7b6o6dSAbTAl9R44o5bx1rhZq6DHEBPzNJH9RvMTfegDItsOa5nWt6p2ai7mc4huXW0l2FogkzgdFuZNSFS7WE23e8VPj4c3ovCdudYEKKEzbXPVw_8JCi4M-N19UWV9Y/s320/love+boat.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: red;">Now, this would've been really interesting casting.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">That leaves Tobin Bell, as the titular character. He does a particularly good job in the role, especially in the flashbacks, which show why and how he became Jigsaw, and make up a large part of the films. Not that we need to know a killer's (he insists that he isn't one) motivations, the flashbacks showing them were the most interesting parts to me.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4HaHjXLTG3BVajVvdnNOeQ7ojtOIJRngBijX3FEEULHIuUe92u0g2A8spXbox8KpzdBF2J7jLiAC_JjKZ_za0ulZ0SCClLBbZ0u3K674E5Q0BCPUXYqWa9NUB0PLjsMf2vs5U68JBmoI/s1600/tobin+bell+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4HaHjXLTG3BVajVvdnNOeQ7ojtOIJRngBijX3FEEULHIuUe92u0g2A8spXbox8KpzdBF2J7jLiAC_JjKZ_za0ulZ0SCClLBbZ0u3K674E5Q0BCPUXYqWa9NUB0PLjsMf2vs5U68JBmoI/s1600/tobin+bell+2.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: red;">A man who clearly enjoys his work.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">Another impressive thing for me is the continuity, if that's the right word. Watching the films back-to-back, like I did, they flow almost seamlessly together. Also, many of the events in different parts of the series happen concurrently, with only one time where I noticed that didn't quite make sense.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: red;"><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">Finally, the production was interesting. According to IMDB, most of the films were made in single buildings, and outside of the elaborate death traps, are basically minimalist. As disgusting as the end results were, the design of those machines were quite impressive.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: red;"><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">Do not watch these if you are squeamish or eating. There is a lot of gore, some nudity, and a lot of language.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: red;"><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; color: red; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">While I can't and won't recommend them, and don't really see any redeeming value, I give them 3 out of 5 ridiculous Rube Goldberg torture devices.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: red;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">Note: this will be updated if I ever finish the series.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: red;"><span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red;"><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: black; font-size: 12.8px;">This refers to the first film, but it's pretty typical of the others. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;"><br /></span>Craighttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03917871282489385861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949614651416928191.post-84149387615572842332014-07-15T08:07:00.001-06:002014-07-15T08:07:38.516-06:00Zombie Lake: How to Not Do A Zombie Movie<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO0rPVxYRtyq-TUErnYY0hc8i5GWQQEjpolwe98oj73GqAOXpjBWznvWpWMJxoZ73NfxiZL5kib_0goaWkKkqoewccIuKE9uh97JDJ-68iaLyaq4dF1jkW1F4ilE2ceKjAcGbyLsN8qtA/s1600/Zombie+Lake+Poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO0rPVxYRtyq-TUErnYY0hc8i5GWQQEjpolwe98oj73GqAOXpjBWznvWpWMJxoZ73NfxiZL5kib_0goaWkKkqoewccIuKE9uh97JDJ-68iaLyaq4dF1jkW1F4ilE2ceKjAcGbyLsN8qtA/s1600/Zombie+Lake+Poster.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">By
Craig R.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">Movies
are usually notable for one of two reasons: They're either exceptionally good,
or exceptionally bad. Unfortunately, Zombie Lake falls within the latter
category. It is so bad that, for years, its director denied any involvement
with it. Also, it appears to have nearly killed the Nazi Zombie subgenre. After
this movie was released in 1981, the next film of its kind I can locate is
2009's Dead Snow.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">In the
setting of a French village ten years after WW II (we know this because we are
told so), undead Nazis begin shambling out of a nearby lake and randomly
attacking villagers. We are told that the ghouls are the reanimated corpses of
German soldiers, who had been ambushed by the Resistance, and then dumped in
the lake. This was done out of fear of reprisals against the village, had the
bodies been discovered. Unfortunately, the lake in question is known as
"The Lake of The Damned", because of human sacrifices and dark masses
once performed there. Surely, there were more effective ways to dispose of the
bodies. Shallow graves were out of the question, and while bodies of water are
generally good places for such a purpose, The Lake of The Damned probably isn't
the wisest place to do so. While the village must have had a furnace or
incinerator that would've been just as effective, but there wouldn't
be much of a movie.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">As is
the case with most movies of this type, the village authorities, in spite of
evidence to the contrary, deny that there is anything responsible for the
attacks other than wild animals. Finally, after both the help that is sent for
and an entire volleyball team are killed, the villagers rally to destroy the
zombies.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">This
movie has a lot of problems. First among them is the nature and behavior of the
zombies. Instead of being the relentless wave of the undead, this movie's
version of a zombie apocalypse is the undead lazily emerging from the lake to
dine on villagers, and then return, presumably for a nap. I guess French
cuisine is filling. These zombies even have manners. At one point, they have to
share a victim, but instead of a frenzied jockeying for position, they
patiently wait in line for their turn.</span></span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSRH2sEoKHBBfAQFVddKOfJAnZm0o43kEIGOCF1xQmW76NhEZO3DWR40HGAXxM9_yy7zw32j0eRzZElb_sU655g-H5z-Uh2dQs2ZXgPxB6c2oOiNk_KgsxEbv5UgIsligh4qxRS22YoEI/s1600/Nazi+Zombies.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSRH2sEoKHBBfAQFVddKOfJAnZm0o43kEIGOCF1xQmW76NhEZO3DWR40HGAXxM9_yy7zw32j0eRzZElb_sU655g-H5z-Uh2dQs2ZXgPxB6c2oOiNk_KgsxEbv5UgIsligh4qxRS22YoEI/s1600/Nazi+Zombies.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Apparently, this is what the French consider to be a horde.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: black; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: white;">Probably
the most annoying of the zombies is the one I call "Zombie Daddy",
who is the most featured. In flashbacks we are shown that he had an affair with
a village girl and fathered a daughter with her. During one of his excursions
into town, he discovers her and immediately takes a break from his rampage to
spend quality time with her. Later, he even walks away from the zombies' battle
with the villagers to go for a quiet walk with the girl.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbvJe-htb38t-jB2TjlJqI2j8txO-6BshIN_hEmOyHU3IqfDX1rF39c71rXAh0wqRVnRRDoHvMhqblHUMgslnX3yupl6rJ3PdvieLzX2IUn4wIIFQHhXo5K9BqPTC67QIFraA7lfIF6jQ/s1600/Zombie+Daddy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbvJe-htb38t-jB2TjlJqI2j8txO-6BshIN_hEmOyHU3IqfDX1rF39c71rXAh0wqRVnRRDoHvMhqblHUMgslnX3yupl6rJ3PdvieLzX2IUn4wIIFQHhXo5K9BqPTC67QIFraA7lfIF6jQ/s1600/Zombie+Daddy.jpg" height="120" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Who's your daddy?</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivTXpAPEMpyfoJcNc50lp_sXTEy4BC4olnrJC_CfeLst2W97QwWwuS7j80dE2Pu4_Q4OYBUZB7-XnpFQNjSy5td4rdpKIsyzgMFLd52Bder9doTNmNDL02gbiF9wpoEOSDbNJR_I8mRWc/s1600/ZOmbie+Daddy+and+Daughter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivTXpAPEMpyfoJcNc50lp_sXTEy4BC4olnrJC_CfeLst2W97QwWwuS7j80dE2Pu4_Q4OYBUZB7-XnpFQNjSy5td4rdpKIsyzgMFLd52Bder9doTNmNDL02gbiF9wpoEOSDbNJR_I8mRWc/s1600/ZOmbie+Daddy+and+Daughter.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Zombies need love too</td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16.100000381469727px;"><span style="color: white;">Speaking of the battle with the villagers, it was reminiscent of Star Wars. The similarity is not that it was an exciting scene, but that the villagers reminded me of Imperial Storm Troopers. The zombies were moving towards them, slowly, bunched together, down an alley, and in spite of that formation and at least 100 shots fired, only a couple hit their targets, hardly having any visible effect.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIAneoVYYr8Z8lMvJAgVhyphenhyphenFyFJwFcTzKKnyC3BYbicVIdU4gy-ZP_0Ws9Xyh4orSYuHfF-3lTqI7cvDGQqjYc5N0b78fOdHXXbo4pcL-X5dQVBtjbyqVYnbVAoalXIYQHSnLupXEGAMO0/s1600/Nazi+Zombies.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIAneoVYYr8Z8lMvJAgVhyphenhyphenFyFJwFcTzKKnyC3BYbicVIdU4gy-ZP_0Ws9Xyh4orSYuHfF-3lTqI7cvDGQqjYc5N0b78fOdHXXbo4pcL-X5dQVBtjbyqVYnbVAoalXIYQHSnLupXEGAMO0/s1600/Nazi+Zombies.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Zombie battle formation</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 16.100000381469727px;">This brings us to another annoying aspect of the zombies' nature, in that there's no decided way in which they can be killed. While Zombie Daddy kills another with a knife, none of the bullets that manage to hit them appear to have any effect. Eventually, the villagers kill them with fire. The beauty of zombies is that they are a relatively new monster, or at least they were at the time that this movie was produced, and don't have any set folklore. Even so, whichever way a storyteller decides that zombies have to be killed, they need to stick with it. Granted, their reanimation was probably the result of a supernatural source, but if a knife to the chest can kill one, unless it has to be one that's enchanted, shouldn't a bullet?</span><br style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;" /><br style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 16.100000381469727px;">Secondly, the production values are just horrible. This movie has some of the typical problems such as switching between day and night during a scene. Other minor problems include additional zombies who randomly appear, then are never seen again, and when one is set on fire, the burning figure is obviously a mannequin.</span><br style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;" /><br style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 16.100000381469727px;">The biggest production fault, however, is special effects, or the lack thereof, where the laziness of the production staff is clearly visible. By the time Zombie Lake was released in 1981, Romero's first two zombie movies, Fulci's Zombi 2, and Shock Waves, another Nazi zombie movie, had all been released. All of those, unlike Zombie Lake, had at least moderately convincing effects. In contrast, The zombie makeup here consists mostly of erratically applied green grease paint and silly putty.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbw_hthfv9KuPnn90b9_SEtpkEeNOdvoOCJoc-k-kzTWHeNRkpU_WLMwOa8iBfIvdxswlJ_YWuNHRS653eiccIekT8XObBO_1v7Ehdj8fWr6itsUdH-hK7v23wt3oXDVNzJlkpOv1GBe0/s1600/Silly+Putty+Zombie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbw_hthfv9KuPnn90b9_SEtpkEeNOdvoOCJoc-k-kzTWHeNRkpU_WLMwOa8iBfIvdxswlJ_YWuNHRS653eiccIekT8XObBO_1v7Ehdj8fWr6itsUdH-hK7v23wt3oXDVNzJlkpOv1GBe0/s1600/Silly+Putty+Zombie.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A tube of green greasepaint: $6.98. Silly Putty: $4.54. Half-ass zombie makeup: Priceless. </td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="background-color: black; color: white;"><span style="font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">At the
time the movie takes place, our undead Germans have been submerged in the lake
for over ten years, yet they are almost perfectly preserved. From their
appearance, the only indication that they were formerly dead is that their skin
is mostly green, and I say "mostly green" because the makeup
"artists" apparently couldn't be bothered to apply even coats of
makeup. Some of the ghouls don't even have makeup on the backs of their hands;
most have patches of normal skin tone showing through the paint, and Zombie
Daddy doesn't even anything covering the skin on his neck.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">After
being submerged for ten years, shouldn't there be some decomposition? Even if
one suspends disbelief, shouldn't there at least be deterioration of their
uniforms, or rust on their helmets? One could accept that the cause of their
reanimation may be supernatural, and may have preserved their bodies, but
the clothes too? Admittedly, I'm probably </span><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 16.100000381469727px;">over-thinking</span><span style="font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> this, but is it too much
to ask that at least one of them have a trouser leg untucked from a boot?</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyFVPBMcY9hAnfdri_Wtmtit96UtQhbYa9evGp1mxITti13JCYU0xDYgNbDeJNEJXxjKffiNID_sH9i-aqmK92KBUGjjrsRa7fOSEalI1Ckp6K7vhxkbHzxxyYUMbiNdEtcjIWRPWy_Jk/s1600/Zombie+Lake+False+Advertising.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyFVPBMcY9hAnfdri_Wtmtit96UtQhbYa9evGp1mxITti13JCYU0xDYgNbDeJNEJXxjKffiNID_sH9i-aqmK92KBUGjjrsRa7fOSEalI1Ckp6K7vhxkbHzxxyYUMbiNdEtcjIWRPWy_Jk/s1600/Zombie+Lake+False+Advertising.jpg" height="320" width="220" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">False advertising</td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 16.100000381469727px;">Look, I know that makeup and effects needed to transform an actor into a convincing zombie are expensive, but the necessary techniques had by then been around for quite a few years, at least since Night of The Living Dead, which was released in 1968, and was little more than a student film. Also, with a zombie attack, especially one where the victim is gnawed on for several minutes, give us at least a little bit of gore, instead of just a smear of fake blood. Tom Savini (who did the makeup effects for Dawn of The Dead) was pretty busy during the time this film was produced, but he seems like a decent guy, who would've been glad to have given a few pointers.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 16.100000381469727px;">Zombie Lake conforms with at least one of the <a href="http://scream.wikia.com/wiki/The_Rules">informal rules of horror movies</a>, that once a character either gets naked or becomes amorous, they're doomed. Which leads to my final problem with Zombie Lake, what I guess some would call too much of a good thing. There is a lot of gratuitous nudity in this movie. The horror movies that I grew up watching were released in the late '70s and early '80s, and at least some amount of </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16.100000381469727px;">nudity</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 16.100000381469727px;"> was pretty much a given. Even then, most of that was simply a brief flash, where one would have to rewind and pause the video cassette, in order to see it, or so I've been told. Where this movie skimps on effects, it overcompensates in nudity. Approximately 1/3 of its </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16.100000381469727px;">run time</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 16.100000381469727px;"> is naked women. I'm sure that's probably more than could probably be found in many of the late night cable movies with plots about sex therapists solving murders.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjhLM7_7b8-6eGudk8qHaKaubp_qJqB9ba5Mph6RND4Ua2WbQCjcQzJQrK-hqPOlGJ03qLVCUioppccGlvAJG4wVPsSJOyOHaC6JzYyI9GZ4qONz3RG5rf6NIdXhIwu-2VftdOjmr8j7s/s1600/volleyball.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjhLM7_7b8-6eGudk8qHaKaubp_qJqB9ba5Mph6RND4Ua2WbQCjcQzJQrK-hqPOlGJ03qLVCUioppccGlvAJG4wVPsSJOyOHaC6JzYyI9GZ4qONz3RG5rf6NIdXhIwu-2VftdOjmr8j7s/s1600/volleyball.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Want to guess what happens next?</td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">As an
example, there is one scene, where a woman strips down, sunbathes, walks
around, and then goes swimming, all while stark naked. I can live without
nudity in a movie, and it doesn't bother me, but that scene lasted for about 5
minutes (I timed it), and I actually began to get uncomfortable. There were
moments where she walked off screen, and I thought "Okay, she's going to
put something on", but that didn't happen. There are at least two other
scenes that linger like this, quite a bit too long. Look, I'm sure that I'm not
alone in this, but if I wanted to see a lot of nudity, a zombie movie wouldn't
be the place. I watch zombie movies because I want to see hordes of the undead
relentlessly terrorizing people.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">To the
movie's credit, though it didn't manage to execute a good idea, it should be
acknowledged that it does try to be different from other films in the genre.
Having said that, Zombie Lake is a really terrible movie. The level of bad is
not even "it's so bad that it's good." I can't recommend it, but if
you do watch it, I hope that you find something to enjoy in it. Either way,
you've been warned.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Supposedly,
there is a version of the movie that has no nudity, where the women are at
least partially covered. Unfortunately, I couldn't uncover it (See what I did there?). The poster at the top of this post and the clip below are </span><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 16.100000381469727px;">actually</span><span style="font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> from the sanitized version.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Zombie
Lake is available on Netflix Instant, as well as YouTube. On Netflix, it's in
French with subtitles, and on YouTube it's dubbed in English.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">I give
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Craighttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03917871282489385861noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949614651416928191.post-9974069176802433662014-04-22T14:49:00.002-06:002014-04-22T14:49:39.565-06:00MoonlightingBy Craig R.<br />
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Not only do I like foreign genre movies, but I also like classics. As a result, I occasionally contribute to <a href="http://hqofk.wordpress.com/">The Speakeasy</a>. I've never mentioned it here because there has never been any overlap of content areas. However, the overlap has finally occurred.</div>
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My latest contribution is a post about Dr. Fu Manchu, for a <a href="https://hqofk.wordpress.com/2014/02/09/great-villain-blogathon/">villain blogathon</a>. The overlap doesn't come because the titular supervillain is Chinese, but because one of the films, The Vengeance of Dr, Fu Manchu, was produced by the legendary Shaw Brothers. </div>
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I am fond of saying, though this is the first time here, that I'm never finished with a written composition, I just quit. Unfortunately, after I quit, save, and submit it, like the snappy comeback one thinks of hours later, I think of something that I should've added. I use the tenuous connection to our standard content to make the missed point.</div>
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In the piece, I relate that Fu Manchu was the embodiment of what was referred to as "The Yellow Peril", which was the anxiety experienced by European countries over Asian countries becoming geopolitical forces. Later I mentioned that although Fu, for any number of reasons, had lost popularity as a cinematic figure, there may be a possibility for a comeback. </div>
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The point I had made for a comeback was that period mysteries/adventures, such as the Sherlock Holmes films have had some success. The point that I would like to add is that China has become a major world power, and a scary one, at that. Whether the nefarious stories are true or not, of cyber attacks waged on other countries, and other such forms of espionage are things that are right up Fu's alley.</div>
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Another point: In the post, I made a joke about Nicholas Cage: "<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Fu Manchu is a great supervillain... played by many great actors, and Nicolas Cage...", which I feel that I need to clarify. Cage, while he has won an Oscar, and has appeared in many successful films, is a ham. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Being a ham doesn't necessarily make him a bad actor, but he just usually tends to play different variations of the same crazy dude. Good or bad, he makes it work, and he deserves every bit of success that he has received. After all, I have enjoyed many hours of his hammy acting.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Please go read the original post <a href="http://hqofk.wordpress.com/2014/04/20/fu-manchu/">here</a>. Kristina, the proprietor of The Speakeasy, is a good friend of this blog so please drop in. </span></div>
Craighttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03917871282489385861noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949614651416928191.post-9785086699878794942014-03-13T16:12:00.000-06:002014-03-14T15:09:04.077-06:00An Example of Why Viking Samurai Exists (Hollywood Sucks)By Craig R <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"I've got your good tidings right here!"</td></tr>
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One reason that this blog was started was that we both noticed that we were both watching mostly foreign genre movies. We had independently developed this preference because Hollywood is basically out of ideas. Most of the genre garbage that comes out there is, more often than not, simply a variation of a handful of themes, or a remake or sequel. Foreign films tend to be more original or at least have a unique take on a well-worn theme. When Hollywood does try to be original, more often than not, they just try to sex up a well-known story or figure (Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Slayer), often with disastrous results.<br />
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The most recent example is the forthcoming Winter's Knight, which is supposed to explore the the origins of Santa Claus, making him into a badass action hero. Alternately, the Finnish <a href="http://www.vikingsamurai.org/2012/06/rare-exports-christmas-tale.html">Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale</a> suggests that his origin was as a supernatural being who punished naughty children, instead of rewarding the good. This is essentially a take of the general practice of scary Christmas legends, like<a href="http://m.ranker.com/list/the-10-most-terrifying-christmas-figures/molly-mahan"> Krampus</a>, being replaced by the more gentle Santa/Saint Nick. On the other hand, Hollywood goes the route of making up a whole new origin for Santa, where he's a Greek Bishop who fought Vikings, or something.. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Old Boss</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The New Boss</td></tr>
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<a href="http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/4-reasons-this-new-movie-everything-wrong-with-hollywood/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=fanpage&utm_campaign=new+article&wa_ibsrc=fanpage">Cracked </a>has an excellent piece that explains why Winter's Knight will be terrible, and outlines our grievances with Hollywood (Warning: There is salty language).. In the meantime, we recommend a viewing of Rare Exports (available on Netflix Instant).</div>
Craighttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03917871282489385861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949614651416928191.post-29125675417473566782013-07-31T21:54:00.001-06:002023-07-28T10:46:37.076-06:007 Dwarves: Men Alone in The Woods<div>
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">By Craig R.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Until now, my only exposure to German humor has been Sprockets, <a href="x-apple-data-detectors://0" x-apple-data-detectors-result="0" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors="true">on Saturday Night</a> Live, which one could </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">argue doesn't count. I have generally stayed away from German humor because of prejudice in thinking that they are a dour, brooding people. I guess that may be a result of watching only German horror, World War II movies, and documentaries on the History/Military Channel. I wasn't sure of what I was getting myself into with this experimentation.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not appearing in this film.</td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">7 Dwarfs, (in German: 7 Zwerge), is not surprisingly a take on the Grimm Brothers’ story. It is set in an alternate universe (I’m guessing), where there is a bright side, the cozy home for humans, which was created in 6 days, and a dark side, the Sinister Forest, which was created on the 7th. Of course, the Dwarfs live in the Sinister Forest. A river separates the two, which no one is supposed to cross. We are introduced to the dwarfs when Little Red Riding Hood crosses the bridge, tempted by a flower, and is seen by one of them (Bibi).<br /> </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">This kind of sets events into motion, because Bubi had never seen a woman before, and becomes curious, asking "Are there any more of those creatures with no willie?". The others, led by Brummboss, try to curb his interest, by reminding him that he was abandoned (tossed out of a hot air balloon) by his mother, who was a bank robber, so that she could make an escape. They decide to take measures to prevent any more women from crossing the river. Since they are unable to blow up the bridge, they use other, much less effective, means.<br /><br />Meanwhile, we are introduced to the Evil Queen, who, as usual, is vain, and being blonde, all of the jokes her jester tells must be about brunettes (he is later thrown in the dungeon because he is caught telling blonde jokes). When asking her mirror the usual question, (Do I really need to tell you?) finds out that Snow White is still alive (servants were told to "get rid" of her, but thought that meant to take her to an orphanage). After the Queen sends her huntsman to find Snow White, the mirror warns her, and she escapes to the Sinister Forest.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br />The rest of the story plays out pretty much the same as the story that we are familiar with: Snow White meets the Dwarfs, and improves their lives. </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The Huntsman and the Queen pursue Snow into the forest, eventually capturing her, in order to execute her (for the crime of deliberate & delicious beauty). The Dwarfs go to the rescue. Being a comedy, there are detours on their way to the rescue, but of course the dwarfs eventually succeed. There is at least one twist, though not really surprising, if one is paying attention, but I won't spoil it.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Snow White and the lads</td></tr>
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<br />A running joke is that they aren't really dwarfs, they just call themselves that. They don't even have real beards, but fake ones that they wear whenever going out into the forest. They are actually a sort of He-Man Woman Haters' Club, like in the Our Gang series (google it). They are each in the forest to get away from women, who had somehow done them a serious (mostly perceived) wrong. Each had answered an ad placed by Brummboss. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">This movie is really funny, and dense with jokes. I generally dislike comparisons to other movies, but it's necessary here, because the humor covers a broad range. Like with the Police Squad and Airplane franchises, and Mel Brooks films there are constant gags. Even during serious scenes, there is something happening in the background, sometimes subtle, sometimes not. Also like those films, much of the humor is visual and absurd, and based on the characters not being very bright, or as bright as they think they are.<br /><br />There is also quite a bit of slapstick humor (their favorite games involve hitting each other with boards), like The Three Stooges. Most of the Stooge-type humor is dealt in a Moe Howard style. Unfortunately for Bubi, he, like Larry Fine, gets most of the abuse.<br /><br />Of all of the characters, only Brummboss, and the Queen's Jester appear to have any sense. Well, that might not be totally fair, since Snow White and Bubi's cluelessness probably has more to do with their naiveté than lack of sense or intelligence. At the beginning of the film, Snow is only 17, and Bubi has only ever known the forest, and what the other dwarfs have told him (If women are nice to you, it's only to trick you).<br /><br />I have two major pet peeves about comedies, bathroom humor, and direct references to other movies. Thankfully, there is no bathroom humor in this film, though there is some mild sexual innuendo (the Dwarfs' hats pointing straight up when they first meet Snow White, and the "willie" remark"). My other peeve is present here, though there is only one occurrence. At one point, pretty much randomly, Brummboss seeks the counsel of a Gandalf-type character (please don't admit to googling that). Really, that is my only criticism of the movie, it just sticks out, and didn't seem to help move the action. Unless a film is a sequel or a type of spin off, it should be like cheese, and stand alone.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br />I highly recommend 7 Dwarfs. It is highly amusing, and is quickly paced, </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">a great, original take on the classic story, </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">and the</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> cast all appear to be great comedic actors</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">. Having been</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> filmed entirely on a soundstage, it has a classic fairy tale-type feel. </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Unless I missed something, outside of the slight innuendo, it is probably suitable for all ages.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">To summarize how much I enjoyed this film, I rarely laugh during Comedies, but I laughed out loud more than a few times watching it.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br />7 Dwarfs is in German, with subtitles, and is available on Netflix and Amazon Instant. I give it 6 1/2 of 7 pointy hats. I docked it 1/2 a hat because of a terrible song, their version of Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho. </span><br />
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Note: The trailer below has no subtitles, but it still gives a great feel for the movie.</div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> <span style="font-size: x-large;"> <a href="http://youtu.be/iSUztioSr1M">7 Zwerge Trailer</a></span><br /></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span></div>
Craighttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03917871282489385861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949614651416928191.post-29136357565048554172013-05-01T23:09:00.000-06:002013-05-02T08:51:36.327-06:00Iron Sky (or How Politics Ruined A Foolproof Concept)<br />
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By Craig R.<br />
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 12px;">T</span>his is not an overtly political blog. Genre movies should not have overtly political messages, and if there is one, it should be subtle enough that the viewer does not notice it until long after it is over. Yes, Matt and I are conservatives, and fair or not, that affects the way we view movies. That being said, the following review is a political screed, and I would promise that it won’t happen again, but I don’t want to make myself into a liar later on. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Nazis. On. The. Moon. What a perfect, foolproof idea! Nazis are the gift that just keep giving. They were so diabolical that they make the perfect villain. In a world that many want to view as having many shades of grey, they were pure evil. They were also secretive, and they controlled so much of Europe, that new things are constantly being discovered about them, and there are some things that the world may never know. That is the basis of Iron Sky, that towards the end of the war, a group of Nazis escaped to the moon, and built a secret base, with plans to one day return to the Earth and conquer it. That is just a great freaking idea.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Unfortunately, the people behind the film blew it. As I mentioned before, if a genre film, heck, any type if film, has a message, it should be subtle enough that if someone wants to think back over their viewing, they might realize the message on their own, and easily put it out of their mind, if they so choose. If a film has an overt message, it can offend viewers, who relate their displeasure to their friends and family, who in turn may choose not to see the film. The latter route is the one that Iron Sky chose to take.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Their mistake, as far as whatever my opinion is worth, was to blatantly mock Sarah Palin. The first time you see the character based on her, she’s working out on a stair climber, in the Oval Office, dressed similarly to the famous Runner’s World cover:</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Anyway, the character is portrayed as Palin often is, as something of a shallow ditz. The basic plot, or what I gathered from as much as I could bear to watch, was that for her reelection, she chose, or her staff directed her to choose (because they’re her puppet masters dontcha’ know) an ethnic male model, to attract certain voter blocs. He is then sent on a mission to the moon, where he stumbles upon the Nazi base, and is captured. That’s about as far as I got.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I quit watching when the Palin character was introduced. Lampooning her in such a blatant way irritated me, to the point that I couldn’t focus on the movie any longer. I wasn’t annoyed by the simple fact they mocked her. Every pubic figure has aspects of their personality that are fair game to be mocked. The problem I had was the fact that they were lazy about it. All they basically did with the character was copy a Saturday Night Live skit, where they made her look dumb. Whether you are a fan of Palin’s, or not, that is just plain lazy, and you should be offended by that. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">The reason that you should be offended is that the writers didn’t think any more of their target audience than to throw a caricature at you. There should be no sacred cows in satire, but for the love of Pete, if you’re going to mock someone, be creative about it. A personal example: I’m a native Southerner, and for my entire life, we’ve been mocked as dumb, inbred rednecks. Anyway, back in the ‘80s (I think) Dennis Miller refers to the South as “Darwin’s Waiting Room”. Was I offended? Heck no, I thought it was hilarious. Why? He actually put thought into his insult, which in an odd way showed respect for both the target, and the audience. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Wow, I got way off track there. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I tried to watch Iron Sky about five months ago, to do a review here. I quit watching between fifteen and thirty minutes into it, after the Palin character was introduced. I had totally put it out of my mind, until today. Whatever genius was running Netflix’s Twitter account decided that it would be a good idea to tweet this:</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Wow, way to go, on the day that they announced that they were losing the Warner Brothers catalogue. Last year they lost Starz, and they may very well lose Viacom. Those titles just aren’t going away, they are going to competitors, and it is not a wise move to risk alienating probably about half of their subscribers, by directly linking Iron Sky to Palin.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Outside of politics, here’s my review of what I managed to see: It’s a B-Movie, albeit with pretty good production values. The acting is over-the-top, all the characters I saw were caricatures, and the dialogue was pretty terrible, as one should expect from such a film.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Do I recommend it? You’re kidding, right? I’m not even going to bother rating it, especially since I don’t remember enough about it to rate it on one of my quirky scales.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">A production of Germany, Finland, and </span>Australia<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">, Iron Sky is in English </span>and<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> German</span></span></div>
Craighttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03917871282489385861noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949614651416928191.post-16778449149660658462012-08-09T19:49:00.001-06:002012-09-13T10:37:38.043-06:00Ichi<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNCorAiP6FNg2dDy4RZzU2XZAtoVEpx37KgjeMlQTi0rsd3R_norkCutfBuud2OAvJY_DQc1iPiCC9HdVcXhMNOX-1taSRKDqbP9rdka-Mr4bnNXNi53A3odzBxLXFXoliZYRh2AJKE5E/s1600/Ichi+Poster.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNCorAiP6FNg2dDy4RZzU2XZAtoVEpx37KgjeMlQTi0rsd3R_norkCutfBuud2OAvJY_DQc1iPiCC9HdVcXhMNOX-1taSRKDqbP9rdka-Mr4bnNXNi53A3odzBxLXFXoliZYRh2AJKE5E/s320/Ichi+Poster.JPG" width="227" /></a></div> <span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">By Craig R.</span></span><br />
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</span></span> <div class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;"><span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">As I've mentioned <a href="http://www.vikingsamurai.org/2012/06/13-assassins.html">before</a></span><span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">, Samurai films are, by far, my favorite film genre. Chief among them (no disrespect to Kurosawa, who I adore) is the Zatoichi series (films and TV). They starred Shintaro Katsu, as Zatoichi, a blind masseur, who, like Caine, in Kung Fu, walked from place to place, meeting people, and getting into adventures. Seriously, he was also a master swordsman, who did travel, making his living giving massages, and gambling (dice). He usually ended up getting involved in some type of conflict, protecting the innocent, usually from the Yakuza, and correcting injustices. One of the movies was remade in 1989, as Blind Fury, starring the immortal Rutger Hauer. There was also a version released in 2003, starring the great Takeshi Kitano, in the title role.</span></span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This Ichi</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not this one - Big difference</td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Ichi is a homage/spinoff of that series. The main character is Ichi (not to be confused with Ichi The Killer), a blind musician, who, as an infant, was rescued by Zatoichi, and taken to live with a group of blind women. There, she lives, and was educated (Zatoichi would also visit her there, and train her to fight), until she was expelled after being falsely accused of having an affair, which was forbidden. Note: She is often addressed as "Goze", which was a title given to blind women. After her expulsion, she roams from town to town, searching for her mentor. Along the way, she makes a living by giving musical performances, and gambling (dice, as well).</span></span><br />
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</span> <span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;"> <span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">The film opens with a Ronin (masterless Samurai) Fujihira Toma attempting to rescue Ichi from being attacked by a group of bandits. Instead, since he is incapable of drawing his sword, she rescues him. From there, they travel to a village, where she helps him win money playing dice, to replace some that he'd lost in his attempt to save her. Annoyed at Toma’s winning, and not giving them a chance to win back their money, bandits attach him and Ichi. Once again, Ichi saves him. A group of businessmen come upon the aftermath, and mistaking it as Toma's work, and hire him to be a bodyguard. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;"><span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"></span> <br />
<span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">When a government official comes to visit, the village, hoping to gain some protection from him, puts on a show. During the show, the bandits attack, and to end it, Ichi offers herself as a hostage. Her real motive for doing so is that the leader of the bandits, Banki, a former Samurai, supposedly knows of Zatoichi's fate. This sets up the chain of events that lead to the climactic battle.</span><br />
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<span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">I really like a lot about this film, but have a few issues. It is beautifully produced and directed. The scenery and costuming are fantastic. The characters are appropriately cast, none of the actors seemed out of place. It also has the themes of courage, honor, and sacrifice, common to most films of this genre.</span></span><br />
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</span></span> <span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;"><span style="background-color: black; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: white;">Haruka Ayase does an excellent job as Ichi. She gives an effective, but subtle performance. Ichi is appropriately sullen, considering the hardships that she had to endure, but made stronger by them. She is very convincing as a blind person (Another note: Katsu and Kitano both played Zatoichi with their eyes mostly closed. Ayase plays Ichi with her eyes open). The developing friendship with Toma is played out very well. She starts out as tolerating him, and treating him with contempt, but later becomes his friend. The two share a couple moments that are quite touching.</span></span><br />
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</span> <span style="background-color: black; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: white;">Most films of this genre seem to have some type of comic relief. Most of this is provided by, or at the expense of Toma. The reason for him not being able to draw his sword is shown in flashbacks, and is quite tragic, but this inability is often played to comedic effect. Also, one of the other characters frequently changes his name to “Ton-ma”, a slight mispronunciation that means “dim witted”, which amusingly flusters him. Takao Osawa gives a strong performance in this role. Though a skilled fighter, his inability to draw humbles him, and the shame and frustration is evident. He does a great job portraying the arc from being sort of buffoonish to becoming a hero.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: black; color: white;"><br />
</span> <span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">The villains are almost cartoonish, yet suitably deranged, frequently laughing maniacally, at inappropriate times. Banki (Shido Nakamura - Letters from Iwo JIma) a former Samurai, who was so disfigured from a battle, that he was expelled from his clan, wears a mask, and kills anyone who sees him without it. He was a good villain, but I always got the feeling that he'd be better suited for a '70's Kung Fu movie. I was occasionally distracted, because his main henchman (played by Takeuchi Riki, who apparently makes a living off of playing totally unhinged characters) looked like Wayne Newton, and several others look like Elvis impersonators.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhppQXOWIFeZsLDPAGuzSQRCGELSIxW39-LnL3Loe0N0SVU2iqBhFU2WWxQX55rMJAMXA4vM_-ZihutOn1kOUOv8ynvovjXKuDS07nVpkrEctXtlBS_0p8OUv2PDqIw6SSUeH5rjgs6xeI/s1600/Takeuchi+Riki.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhppQXOWIFeZsLDPAGuzSQRCGELSIxW39-LnL3Loe0N0SVU2iqBhFU2WWxQX55rMJAMXA4vM_-ZihutOn1kOUOv8ynvovjXKuDS07nVpkrEctXtlBS_0p8OUv2PDqIw6SSUeH5rjgs6xeI/s200/Takeuchi+Riki.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wayne Newton, is that you?</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="background-color: black; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: white;">The main issue I have with it is that it was dubbed into English. Most of that was done pretty well, with most of the voices being seamless. However, a couple voices do sound like those from the aforementioned Kung Fu movies. I suspect that this may be because the actors are trying to imitate the rhythm of the Japanese language.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;"><br />
</span> <span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">The film moves rather slowly, at times, and could've been a good deal shorter. However, it makes up for that by having a sword fight about every 15 minutes, with multiple combatants, and a battle between the villagers and the bandits. If you choose to watch, notice the unique way Ichi holds her sword (shown in the trailer below). I did have a problem with Ichi being a secondary character for about a quarter of the film, unable to do much, after losing a brutal duel. This is done to allow Toma to redeem himself, through heroic actions, that </span><span style="line-height: 14px;">result</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> from her captivity.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: white;"><br />
</span> <span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">Flashbacks are put to great use, to explain Ichi and Toma's backstories, though there was additional exposition. The two could've been combined, in some instances, to help with pacing. Ichi’s flashbacks first show how she was rescued, then trained by Zatoichi. In a matter of minutes, they effectively establish the relationship between the two. They also show her life with the other Goze, her training with Zatoichi, and the reason for her expulsion. Toma’s shows the tragedy that prevents him from drawing his weapon. </span><br />
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</span> <!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: black; color: white; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">While not a masterpiece, it is quite enjoyable, this was actually my second viewing. If you enjoy this, or not, or choose not to not even watch, I recommend the classic Zatoichi films, which may eventually get their own posts. There are several available, for free, on Hulu.<br />
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<span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">Ichi’s original language Japanese, but is dubbed in English (I originally saw it with subtitles). It is Rated-R, with a run time of 1 hour, 58 minutes, and is available on Netflix, and Amazon Instant.</span><br />
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<span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">I give if 3, out of four cane swords.</span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</span></span></div>Craighttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03917871282489385861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949614651416928191.post-36412571629503814812012-08-08T21:16:00.000-06:002012-08-08T21:16:34.644-06:00Chawz, in Which Pigs Get Some Sweet, Sweet RevengeBy Craig R.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbQ63bstvI5E-DiBDTBMk5roQFckk1GE8OSachPu2gyoiO5BKZuhXM1Ragh6m0houHXDjuM3Dm401if-uBwZNJmrXPhyphenhyphenkxuOO7tMo6MlU8veaiu5K93wwK-uT_RRJRejzsHeOqtvTeSkc/s1600/Chaw+poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbQ63bstvI5E-DiBDTBMk5roQFckk1GE8OSachPu2gyoiO5BKZuhXM1Ragh6m0houHXDjuM3Dm401if-uBwZNJmrXPhyphenhyphenkxuOO7tMo6MlU8veaiu5K93wwK-uT_RRJRejzsHeOqtvTeSkc/s1600/Chaw+poster.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Jaws, and a select few other monster movies, was very effective because for much of the film, the shark was never seen, leaving much to the imagination. The Andy Griffith Show was great because it was about a competent Sheriff surrounded by small town eccentrics. Chawz, a South Korean (I'm not sure if there's any other kind of Korean film) film that effectively borrows more than a few elements from both of those classics, as well as others (Roger Corman productions, Predator).</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfxHqw0uKEjJAIrk-Ot1IhuWKtpFUSpjcjPcL_inLnPgCHVoDDTKCVJwoa8aSadmlILGbGK47MRU3xICCBDS34JqevabzFlkpXaaLPpMZCkmC5jVhAhkIlX48EoAB8ljqRkc-fvDdesog/s1600/Porky+Pig.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfxHqw0uKEjJAIrk-Ot1IhuWKtpFUSpjcjPcL_inLnPgCHVoDDTKCVJwoa8aSadmlILGbGK47MRU3xICCBDS34JqevabzFlkpXaaLPpMZCkmC5jVhAhkIlX48EoAB8ljqRkc-fvDdesog/s320/Porky+Pig.jpg" width="294" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Not Appearing in this film</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">This film is about a rural Korean village, Sam-Re-Me, that dubs itself "The village without crime", that has a series of animal attacks. It so happens that at the same time the town is promoting itself to bring in tourists to harvest their "organic" crops. As in Jaws, town leaders want the attacks covered up. I'm going to continue under the assumption that anyone reading this has seen Jaws, so "as in Jaws" should be implied whenever an element of the plot is mentioned (in case you've never seen Jaws, go </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaws_(film)"><span style="font-size: large;">here</span></a><span style="font-size: large;">). At about this time, Officer Kim Kang-Soo is transferred to town, from Seoul. He wound up there, because as a joke, he wrote "anywhere" on a transfer request. He moves there with his wife, and somewhat eccentric, possibly demented, mother. He is what I'd consider the Andy Griffith character in this film. With the exception of Kim, and Inspector Shin (who never removes his sunglasses), the rest of the police force, including the Captain are Barney Fife types.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBgh60nnh0e0iTYwtaXnvhUBjeUGVpMIH7qXSG8N4t5Kr01G6s4qO-9fF4Lt22GO9qmlFJPTOeKvhZbq0ehDubyGfsVW6hkTS4rT0NvQ-S02YGYXaNnWe6s0ROS8Uk-bQoaFpMHW3HKvI/s1600/Wilbur+Charlotte's+web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBgh60nnh0e0iTYwtaXnvhUBjeUGVpMIH7qXSG8N4t5Kr01G6s4qO-9fF4Lt22GO9qmlFJPTOeKvhZbq0ehDubyGfsVW6hkTS4rT0NvQ-S02YGYXaNnWe6s0ROS8Uk-bQoaFpMHW3HKvI/s1600/Wilbur+Charlotte's+web.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> Nope, him neither</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">It turns out that the creature in question is is a seemingly indestructible, man-eatingmutant boar. After several attacks, professional hunters are brought in to track it down. Of course they kill a pig that turns out to be the wrong one. The deceased turns out to be the mate of our man eater.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">After the boar attacks a celebration at the town hall, an expedition is formed to track it down. The party is led by two big game hunters Chun Il-Man (a retired legend, and the grandfather of one of the victims) and Baek Man-Bae (the estranged, glory-seeking protégé of Chun). It also includes Byun Soo-Ryun, a Biologist, as well as Kim, and Shin. Kim's mother even tags along for a while. Once they get into the mountains, events occur that turn them from being the hunters, to the hunted. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">There are several attempts to kill it, which of course fail. There rea couple of long chases, where it chases our protagonists. The climax, and epilogue are reminiscent of other creature features, but different enough to be unique. Stick around until the credits roll, there is an amusing extra scene.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I thoroughly enjoyed this film. There is quite a bit of humor in almost every scene, making it a great black comedy. Most of the characters are pretty well fleshed-out, and interesting. The eccentric villagers, even one who randomly appears, seemingly, just for the sake of weirdness, are all thoroughly so.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The effects, even the CGI pigs, are all quite effective. There is a more than sufficient amount of carnage, and most of the attacks, where the boar makes a kill, leave much to the imagination. It is also beautifully shot, and there is excellent character interaction. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This film does seem to have a couple messages, though not heavily played. A suspected origin of the mutant pigs is that they resulted from experiments performed by the Japanese military during World War II. This continues a theme that I've noticed in many Asian films, from countries that were occupied by Japan. They often take subtle jabs at that nation, as causing the problem, as is the case here, or as villains, as in a couple of Bruce Lee's films. Also, Byun suggests that the pigs have come down from the mountains because of deforesting done for farming. One could also interpret the attempts to cover up the attacks as a jab at corruption.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This is a great film, in which couldn't find any major flaws, or annoyances. The dialogue is in Korean, with subtitles. It is Rated-R (language and violence), and run time is 2 hours, 1 minute, and is available on Netflix Instant.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I give it four, out of four, mutant pigs.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/y-Xy-JIX-OY?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>Craighttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03917871282489385861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949614651416928191.post-66215612961794994292012-07-30T12:56:00.000-06:002012-07-30T13:30:04.311-06:00Mutants? Meh<span style="font-size: large;">By Craig R.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUJpEPpohxm4RxDap9t8-TFKK1LsPULaWVX0_7YF7P6PzBOixq2Bk4sMsoglVfs8lRLMCL8PmUF8pigaMpemuI5XpnQp7f5c-uVd5h_q0usmWFlozDznDx_SDUNCk3ckngyvsoSUqMAvY/s1600/Mutants.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUJpEPpohxm4RxDap9t8-TFKK1LsPULaWVX0_7YF7P6PzBOixq2Bk4sMsoglVfs8lRLMCL8PmUF8pigaMpemuI5XpnQp7f5c-uVd5h_q0usmWFlozDznDx_SDUNCk3ckngyvsoSUqMAvY/s1600/Mutants.jpg" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This review was really hard to write. I didn't hate this movie, I didn't particularly like it, I'm aggressively ambivalent about it. When that's the case, it's really hard to praise it, yet hard to trash it. I watched all of it, so I figured that I might as well make an attempt to write a review. This is one of those movies that's hard to tell much about without any spoilers, but I shall do my best.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Mutants has promising start. It begins in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, where apparently most of the population has been infected with a virus, that has turned them into zombies (unfortunately, the running kind). Our main characters are Marco and Sonia, a couple who happen to be EMTs, who are attempting to make their way to the safety of a military base. They don't quite make it there, and have to hunker down in an abandoned building, after. Along the way, Marco becomes infected, and the rest of the film involves Sonia trying to cure him, while they are waiting for help to arrive, and some of the usual elements of this genre (an incursion by other survivors, and a zombie siege). </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Mutants attempts to do something different within the genre. Many of these type films are so packed with zombie attacks that they don't have much time to get into interpersonal interactions. This film spends <strike>too</strike> much of its run time, actually most of the time, doing that. This is an interesting touch, watching Sonia deal with Marco's <strike>gruelingly slow</strike> transformation into a zombie. </span><span style="font-size: large;">However, the downside of that aspect is that about an hour of this film, except for Marco, is zombie-free. Either they had that much because they couldn't afford more zombies, or they didn't have many because of the story, whatever.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Before I get into what I didn't like about this film, I'll address what I actually did like about it. It is very well-made, the characters are well-written, and acted, the cinematography is great, as are the effects, most dealing with Marco. The aspect of dealing with Marco's transformation, and Sonia dealing with it are very effective, but did I mention that it takes up way too much of the movie? It does, and it becomes annoying. The reason that she goes to such lengths is explained late in the film, but I won't spoil that for you, in case you decide to give it a viewing. </span><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Now, let's review what I didn't like. First, for a zombie apocolypese, it was pretty meager. There were maybe twelve of them in the entire film. Also, our protagonists are able to drive for quite a while on roads, where there is not an abandoned car in site. This is the first time that I've ever watched anything that is zombie-related, where the characters do any amount of travelling, and the roads are not blocked at all. </span><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Also, there is a disappointing lack of carnage. Did I mention that there aren't many zombies? There aren't any burning buildings, and pretty much any structure they enter is pristine. The building Marco and Sonia end up staying in basically looks like everyone had just gone home for the day, and there are virtually no signs that anything is amiss in the rest of the world. There's also electricity. If the apocolypse has been going for as long as the hints that it has, would there still be electricity?</span><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">In this genre, of the first things that people usually do when they find shelter is to harden it, boarding up and blacking out, to try to keep zombies out, and not draw attention to their location. Do Sonia and Marco do this? Noooo, of course not. Not only do enter the structure, and not even appear to make a feeble attempt to secure themselves against intrusion, but they don't even attempt to hide their presence. I found myself getting distracted, looking for ways that I could secure myself, in that situation. When they first arrive inside of the building, there is no power, but after a search, Sonia finds a breaker box. When she turns on the power, there is an outside shot, and the building lights up like a Christmas tree. I doubt that she even bothered to go around to turn out any of the unnecessary lights, it's just that kind of movie. Unfortunately, as is shown later in the film, other survivors don't even attempt to harden their location either. What is it with the French?</span><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Probably the thing that bothered me the most of all is that not only did Marco's transformation take place over a couple days, but Sonia's carelessness during the situation. Not only does she not kill him once she figures out that he's infected, she doesn't even bother to restrain him. Look, I understand the reluctance to kill a loved one when you know that in short order he'll be set on making a meal out of you, I can't say that I'd react any differently, but at least take measures to protect yourself. Good grief, how did she survive so long?<br />
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I also understand maintaining the hope that once help arrives, the military will have found a cure, and Marco will be okay. However understanding I may be, once the dude starts vomiting blood, and growling and snapping at me, he's either going to be put down, or at least restrained. Our female protagonist never attempts to restrain Marco, this, he's able to terrorize her throughout the film, until his change is complete. After he tries to gnaw on her, he tells her that he's sorry, and she forgives him. This reminds me of the parable of the <a href="http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Scorpion_and_the_Frog">scorpion and the frog</a>.<br />
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</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Another issue with this film is the zombies. First, they run. It's sad that these days, I'm surprised when a zombie movie has ones that don't run. Outside of trying to make things more exciting, or the MTV influence, another possible reason for running zombies occurred to me while I was watching this film. When zombies run, it's more difficult to focus on their features, because of some blurring & shakiness of the picture. This possibly enables the filmmakers to use less detailed makeup for the ones that aren't featured. Using the right type of lighting and shadows also helps this. That being said, Marco's makeup is very effective.<br />
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Secondly, there just aren't enough of them in this film. There are maybe a total of a dozen here. If you you're going to portray a zombie apocalypse, try to make it convincing. While this film has good production values, it appears to be low-budget, which would explain the measly number ghouls. In films like <a href="http://www.vikingsamurai.org/2012/06/rammbock-berlin-undead.html">Rammbock: Berlin Undead</a>, it is possible to be convincing with a small amount of zombies, if the setting is in close quarters. Unfortunately, this film's setting is too wide open for that to be done.<br />
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Finally, the zombies stray far from the canon that most films of this type stick to. In most works in this genre, the transformation occurs quickly, in minutes or hours, if not instantaneously, so that the uninfected often don't have time to prepare or react. If a transformation occurs over several days, how did the apocalypse happen? You know there's no cure for the condition, you know if someone's infected, and will turn, make preparations, if that's not done, maybe zombies deserve to rule the Earth. Also, zombies only attacks are usually grabbing and biting. Here, our ghouls hit, even straddle a victim, and pummel them MMA-style. The final violation is the way they are killed. It's pretty standard with this type of undead that the only way to kill them is to destroy the brain. A couple of them in this film are killed by damage to their throats, and bleeding out. That's just unacceptable. A few are burned, but that's acceptable, since theoretically, the fire damages their brains.<br />
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In spite of my criticisms, this is a decent film. It's shot well, has decent effects, the acting is fine, and it had an interesting concept. Unfortuantely, I had too many problems with it, and it was too slow, for an extended amount of time, for me to fully recommend it. Did I mention that there weren't enough zombies?<br />
</span><span style="font-size: large;">It is in French, with subtitles. Its run time is 1 hour, 29 minutes, and it is rated R. It is available on Netflix Instant. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I give it 2 1/2 out of four purple zombies.</span> <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/LUI58aEVxEM?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;"></span>Craighttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03917871282489385861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949614651416928191.post-54498282056304296082012-07-11T11:47:00.001-06:002013-09-19T22:41:08.003-06:00Battle Royale<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzZkF1X7VpY6rBrdl-EQOa8Upp6anhePWJ_2YMdeF9NwE7fjrd8yBpRG64czYcwK0RzAl2Py-JhyzetkyxAhms1JWbyW7e_0QgcZQcuI0STT6YiONneQUXKPvNXTTieyfQwqY62e5cB4M/s1600/Battle+Royale+Logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzZkF1X7VpY6rBrdl-EQOa8Upp6anhePWJ_2YMdeF9NwE7fjrd8yBpRG64czYcwK0RzAl2Py-JhyzetkyxAhms1JWbyW7e_0QgcZQcuI0STT6YiONneQUXKPvNXTTieyfQwqY62e5cB4M/s1600/Battle+Royale+Logo.jpg" /></a></div>
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By Craig R. <br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">Some things are so horrific that it's hard to look away: Car accidents, train wrecks, Pauly Shore movies. Such is the case with Battle Royale. That isn't because it's a bad film. On the contrary, it's an excellent film. The problem isn't that it has a lot of graphic violence. The problem is that it involves children, specifically teenagers.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;"><br />
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Originally released in 2000, Battle Royale was not released in the US until 2011. This is because it couldn't find a distributor, due to fears of legal actions resulting from the content. In the meantime, The Hunger Games books and movie were released. The similarities are so striking that fans have accused Suzanne Collins of stealing the idea for the story.<br />
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Set in a collapsing Japan (10% unemployment, teens going on strike by refusing to go to school), the government establishes The BR Program, where an entire Junior High class is randomly selected to participate in a fight to the death. As in The Hunger Games, this is supposedly to keep the population under control through instilling fear.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">In the film, a class of forty students is gassed while on a bus trip, and wake up in a briefing room on a deserted island. They are greeted by heavily-armed soldiers, and their former teacher Kitano (played by the great Takeshi Kitano), who quit after being stabbed by one of them. At this point, he explains their situation: their class has been randomly selected to participate in that year's Battle Royale as a result of the BR Act, which was passed after 800,000 students walked out of school. They have three days to kill each other, until only one of them remains. If that does not happen, the explosive collars they are wearing will detonate. They will also happen to participants who resist the rules, or enter "death zones", which will be announced every twelve hours. It is never mentioned, but the only prize for surviving is just that.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-size: x-small;">Kitano</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;"> <br />
At this point, during their orientation, Kitano mercilessly kills a couple students who cause trouble during the orientation, to make his points. The students are then sent out one-by-one. Each of them is given a bag of food and water, map of the island, compass, and randomly issued a weapon. The weapons are anything as lethal as a gun or knife, or seemingly useless as a pot lid or paper fan.<br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;"> </span><img src="file:///C:/Documents%20and%20Settings/Craig/My%20Documents/My%20Pictures/Battle%20Royale/kitano.jpg" /></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;"> Within hours, twelve of them die, some by suicide. Two "exchange students" had been added to the group, one of whom is quite vicious. Presumably, I don't recall it being discussed much; the two were probably added in the event that many of the students are reluctant to kill. As The Hunger Games did later, all of the day's deaths are announced during each evening's announcements.<br />
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As the story unfolds, some of the students form alliances, and seek out others, in order to protect them, and express unrequited love.Unfortunately, this leads to multiple deaths, at one time. The stress also causes them to reveal their true character, with one even using the situation to settle old scores.<br />
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If there's an intended message to this film, I didn't see it, though I've read that it was to condemn television violence. That may be so, but I don't recall any mention that the events were televised. I got the sense that while the portrayal of the violence, while graphic, and unflinching, wasn't done for the sake of glorifying it. I expected that, because films of this type from Japan often seem to do otherwise.<br />
<br />
If there was a message, in my opinion, it was that stress will reveal someone's true character, and can strengthen love and friendship, but that may just be me looking for something good. If there is a redeeming value, it is, as mentioned earlier, that alliances are formed, where the members do not turn on each other, and that the actions of some are motivated by love.<br />
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Although this is a well-made film, I hesitate to recommend it. I'll let you make up your minds about deciding to watch it. I almost didn't write this review, because the violence was a little unsettling, but felt that I should at least warn anyone who is considering viewing this.<br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;"> I give this film three out of five pot lids, because of my reservations. It was made in Japan, and is available in Netflix Instant. The language is Japanese, with subtitles, and is Not Rated. Run time is 1 hour, 54 minutes.<br />
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Update 9/20/13: It is available on Netflix Instant and Amazon Instant. However, I found the whole thing on <a href="http://youtu.be/VwE5-ecnH8g">YouTube</a>.<br />
<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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Craighttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03917871282489385861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949614651416928191.post-87952462862501944032012-07-05T12:45:00.002-06:002012-07-05T12:48:36.433-06:00'Dead Snow' ain't a Oscar pic but it is fun.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNrE7OgfuvtmP5gN4Fm1gB4NIks9EBJRaUiJsMYOUPduqWHRdz1YSi-Zfq3OUs_aLyjm4aqQTl4oAIZBbTN60CwskECpYwo4ZBNLR4xajGDoqPfMxxhco7PVBC7ARFxTIpYaGpYdBOTpU/s1600/dead-snow-Still7.Jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNrE7OgfuvtmP5gN4Fm1gB4NIks9EBJRaUiJsMYOUPduqWHRdz1YSi-Zfq3OUs_aLyjm4aqQTl4oAIZBbTN60CwskECpYwo4ZBNLR4xajGDoqPfMxxhco7PVBC7ARFxTIpYaGpYdBOTpU/s320/dead-snow-Still7.Jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <br />
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Question: What is worse than Zombies and Nazis? Answer: Nazi Zombies!!! <i>Dead Snow</i> is a fun gore fest from Norway that tries not to have any deep meaning or pretty much any thinking whatsoever. Most Scandinavian movies I've seen are more vignettes; i.e. stories that you might hear from your Grandpa around a fire. Usually short and heavy on character development. Well not <i>Dead Snow</i> no way. <br />
<i>Dead Snow</i> was very much like the old 1980's American horror movies. But with a lot less plot, which is really hard to believe. Jason Voorhies could have been freaking Gary Oldman after I saw it.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Where the hell is my hockey mask?!</td></tr>
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But hey, it's a gorefest and they don't try to make any pretenses that they're anything else. Flying limbs, split open heads, brains falling out of heads, and more disembowelments than you have ever seen in any movie. That's including medical documentaries. Nazis apparently love intestines. <br />
But overall it was funny and scary. But extremely gory. I give Dead Snow 2 3/4 Zombie heads out of 5.<br />
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VikingSamurai © 2012Craighttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03917871282489385861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949614651416928191.post-84864595931967637402012-07-03T21:16:00.001-06:002012-07-11T11:19:04.963-06:00We Are The Night<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibSuU9WZ4MtbiuoeG9KvwyvlOjUaN05C34HV5mInMKvAh91pk3cMwO1hOJm63RjrSePXfS8MyJlpW2m6q5ImzA6VlBOUfMd-SUMpqsiYmEAppUUYyMKAbBsCI7SNkh2DshGaEtXQvwG6I/s1600/We+Are+The+Night.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibSuU9WZ4MtbiuoeG9KvwyvlOjUaN05C34HV5mInMKvAh91pk3cMwO1hOJm63RjrSePXfS8MyJlpW2m6q5ImzA6VlBOUfMd-SUMpqsiYmEAppUUYyMKAbBsCI7SNkh2DshGaEtXQvwG6I/s1600/We+Are+The+Night.jpg" /></a></div><br />
By Craig R.<br />
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I<span style="font-family: Calibri;">n recent years, significant damage has been done to the vampire genre. Vampires that sparkle in the daylight, instead of burning to a crisp, and don’t have fangs? Marrying mortals? Even Francis Ford Coppolla couldn’t resist, making Dracula long for a lost love. Vampires are blood-thirsty killers. They can be cool, and sexy, but in the end, they are killers. In general, many contemporary vampire movies ignore the traditional canon of the genre (weaknesses, appearance, etc.).<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4zMSaB5APOtcDrXH41Y1l_8AcsTnyHc4X6ya5Z3KsNew1VoFjP_rjhQZ91m2H4ZmY3e1oBoXGaUyI6LAU0CWNo6Czj7q5Q7DLXd5BCVNpfGZsNMee6536x5lcX3k61APizPIaCsKuolk/s1600/Grandpa+Munster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4zMSaB5APOtcDrXH41Y1l_8AcsTnyHc4X6ya5Z3KsNew1VoFjP_rjhQZ91m2H4ZmY3e1oBoXGaUyI6LAU0CWNo6Czj7q5Q7DLXd5BCVNpfGZsNMee6536x5lcX3k61APizPIaCsKuolk/s1600/Grandpa+Munster.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Not in this film</div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We Are The Night is a German vampire film that sticks mostly to the canon. It is about a trio of female vampires: Louise, Charlotte, and Nora. Located in Berlin (I have a hard time using “living”, when referring to vampires), throw huge rave-like parties, (recklessly) drive expensive cars, seducing, and wantonly feeding on mortals, and live in a luxury hotel. One night Lena, a young criminal, attends one of their parties. In short order, Louise turns her.</span></div><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lena has a hard time adjusting to being one of the undead, which leads Louise to take measures to help her accept the reality sooner. Unfortunately this leaves behind a trail of bodies, which attracts the attention of the police, chiefly, Tom, an officer that had met Lena when she was still a mortal. This leads to him tracking her down, and them striking up a friendship, somewhat romantic, which further affects Lena’s ability to adjust to her new life, and eventually leads to bad things happening, for our ladies of the night.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Tom and Lena’s relationship is not obtrusive to the story, but flows quite freely into it. This film, unlike many that I have seen, addresses the longing for their mortal life, and those that they’ve left behind, as well as the reluctance to accept the new existence. For me, the most effective scene was one where one of the ladies visits her dying daughter, who was a child when she was turned, in a nursing home. There is also an interesting conversation of the group’s type of feminism, and creating new vampires.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The effects are done quite well, there is quite a bit of blood, though fangs are rarely seen. Lena’s transformation from a mortal to a vampire was done very well, unlike any that I can recall. The action sequences are done quite well, daylight car chases, with special cars, shootouts with the police, and of course vampire fights. Thankfully, even though the vampires perform superhuman feats (walking on walls, and ceilings, for example), there’s none of that Matrixy, Wire-Fu-type garbage. As far as possibly objectionable content, the only nudity is, unfortunately a (thankfully) a very brief glimpse of some dudes’ junk, and there is a moment when Louise kisses Lena.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My only real problem with the film is that rather than using subtitles, it is dubbed into English. While this is perfectly appropriate for Kung Fu, and Godzilla movies, that are watched purely for fun, it is not for a “serious” film. In the “fun” movies, the dialogue merely connects the action sequences, so the quality isn’t as important. Actually, bad dubbing (out of sync, inappropriate voice) makes those types of movies more entertaining. However, when that happens with a more serious film, it can be distracting, and takes away from the seriousness. Unfortunately that is the case with We Are The Night. Lena’s voice actually sounds like one that one would hear in a Kung Fu movie. </span><br />
<br />
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I highly recommend this film. It is one of the most interesting vampire movies that I've seen in a while. </span></o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It is Not Rated, dubbed into English, and has a runtime of 1 hour, 40 minutes. It is available on Netflix Streaming.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I give We Are The Night three out of four Hot German Vampires.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/GqL30aHMZtA?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>Craighttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03917871282489385861noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949614651416928191.post-58328362579794876382012-06-22T17:51:00.000-06:002012-06-22T17:51:53.913-06:00Be the Solution or Get the hell out of the Way! The Review of "Phase 7"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfI99DNupulHMK6baaysqanp_LhsEkLt5sO-lNMBrL-awBnwgF_weiJnG-HL3zRYBkwl5B3K64sPwZAOFB_oZUlWcmwi2aYZuLKlBvja2jSgCAr4dqoiQbseinYAMCivrxdJMRgqUBk68/s1600/81NMWgp2oXL._AA1500_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfI99DNupulHMK6baaysqanp_LhsEkLt5sO-lNMBrL-awBnwgF_weiJnG-HL3zRYBkwl5B3K64sPwZAOFB_oZUlWcmwi2aYZuLKlBvja2jSgCAr4dqoiQbseinYAMCivrxdJMRgqUBk68/s320/81NMWgp2oXL._AA1500_.jpg" width="223" /></a></div> <br />
By Matt Dawson<br />
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In life you are either the problem, the solution, or just in the damn way. A microcosm of this is the apocalyptic movie Phase 7. This Argentinean sci-fi takes place during the midst of an undetermined outbreak of a killer virus. The protagonists is the hapless 30 something husband, Coco (David Hendler). Coco and his wife Pipi, yes it’s pronounced pee pee so feel free to giggle, are clueless about the danger is around them by the time their own apartment complex is quarantined off. As the situation starts to become more dire and supplies in the apartment complex become more valuable factions start to form within the complex. An Elderly man on the first floor named Zanutto (Federico Luppi), who looks like a cross between Ricardo Montalbahn and Bob Barker, seems to be coughing often and some of the neighbors want to take Zanutto and move him to another apartment. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"The Price, etsa wrong, Beeetch!"</td></tr>
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Coco ignores them and still insists on living his life like nothing has changed. Coco’s neighbor, Horacio, is the real life embodiment of National Geographic’s Doomsday Preppers. He has full body tox suits, years worth of food, and arsenal that would make Ted Nugent jealous, and the number one asset: Common Sense. Horacio gives Coco a suit, food, even a pistol. Coco doesn’t want them and promises that if you call the police they will handle any situation. Horacio tells the other neighbors to stay away from the fourth floor or it would be considered an act of war. Coco ignores Horacio and tries to go reason with the other neighbors. Well that is when the shit hits the fan. Bob Barker’s Argentinean Doppleganger, Zanutto, flings open the door to the neighbors and proceeds to blow their heads literally off. Yeah it’s kind of gruesome. Coco figures out that this situation is not normal and needs to pull his shit together or Zanutto is going to blow is ass off. Horacio and Coco rig the building with traps, which Coco triggers all himself because he’s a dumbass. Zanutto has now officially flipped his shit and has killed almost everyone in the apartment complex. Coco had better find his balls quick because Zanutto doesn’t flinch and Horacio may not be there to help him.<br />
Overall I thought Phase 7 was a tad boring. Although there were funny spots in it, such as when Coco shaved his beard and looks exactly like the lead singer of Moterhead.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lemmy is not a pussy. </td></tr>
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The acting was real at times but at other times as in the scenes with Pipi, sorry giggling again, it just seemed to fake that this woman has no idea what’s going on until the very end of the movie. In the end I was relieved it was over just because I grew tired of Coco’s whining. I mean grow a pair, dude! I give this movie 2 out of 5 Shouting Pipi’s. (Oh that never gets old.)<br />
Country: Argentina; Language: Spanish; Runtime: 95 minutes<br />
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VikingSamurai © 2012Craighttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03917871282489385861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949614651416928191.post-44317330466765275422012-06-17T19:01:00.001-06:002012-07-11T11:18:41.458-06:00Rammbock: Berlin Undead<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEildAJhbqYge2brO5MaB9fTOCunDB2vcBq5hyJBul6zZ2GJmCRQOXEvevCGE0Jq0Ixz31vxYo4ovRnH7tYjtfUIjauV9RAN6JUqjFQlflD9CPzMAzUnNMsBoJmb02mwO6RfJxkDeq-xcto/s1600/Rammbock_+Berlin+Undead.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEildAJhbqYge2brO5MaB9fTOCunDB2vcBq5hyJBul6zZ2GJmCRQOXEvevCGE0Jq0Ixz31vxYo4ovRnH7tYjtfUIjauV9RAN6JUqjFQlflD9CPzMAzUnNMsBoJmb02mwO6RfJxkDeq-xcto/s320/Rammbock_+Berlin+Undead.jpg" width="225" /></a></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">By Craig R.</div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>I really hate MTV. Yeah, I hate it for the obvious reasons: The fact that the “M’ doesn’t really mean anything anymore, the inane reality shows, and its contribution to the coarsening of American culture. Mostly, though there’s no direct connection, I hate MTV for the creation of running zombies. I think this is a result of the style of MTV has influenced some film genre’s in that they have to become flashier and more up-tempo, quick cuts, shaky cams, and running, freaking zombies. Lumbering zombies are perfectly effective, and had been the standard until the Dawn of The Dead remake, but that’s just not good enough for the little freaks that grew up on MTV. Not even German cinema can escape MTV’s insidious influence.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">MTV is a Zombie Food Desert</td></tr>
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Rammbock: Berlin Undead features those abominations. Outside of that, it’s a pretty good film. It starts with Michael arriving in Berlin, to return apartment keys to his long-distance girlfriend, Gabi, who had just broken up with him (Crack that whip!). When he arrives at her apartment, she’s not there; just in time for all Hell to break loose. He gets holed up in the apartment with Harper, a maintenance man, who was doing some work in the apartment when Michael arrived. The rest of the movie deals with them trying to survive, and eventually attempt to escape to safety. There are also eight other survivors in the building, of course some make it, and some don’t.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEht_ghij4ugDuVX24-iItEj-FC_iUrLSTve-KfuPEFz50MuRGRcjU__yTlHd6Dri3oA6QxZWQItWqye3pe3OZZUfSt7RwhhN4XAAbALSfkAg7ipoq5BgogNb8i8l-lcCOaIvKNnm-iP3Vg/s1600/9160-2T.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="234" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEht_ghij4ugDuVX24-iItEj-FC_iUrLSTve-KfuPEFz50MuRGRcjU__yTlHd6Dri3oA6QxZWQItWqye3pe3OZZUfSt7RwhhN4XAAbALSfkAg7ipoq5BgogNb8i8l-lcCOaIvKNnm-iP3Vg/s320/9160-2T.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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This is a low-budget, yet well-made film. Entire film takes place inside of the apartment complex. Our heroes, Michael and Harper are kind of hapless, not really knowing what to do, which is actually kind of refreshing for a zombie film. There are quite a few comedic moments between them, particularly involving a bear costume. There is more of a focus on meaningful character interactions than in most films of this type. Some things also don’t happen the way that are expected. It also ends on an emotional note, which is also highly unusual.<br />
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In spite of them being runners, the zombies were effective. The makeup and performances were as convincing as those in higher-budget films. There are also enough of them to make it believable that there is a zombie apocalypse afoot. Also, there is very little gore, but enough to be effective.<br />
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This isn’t the best zombie film that I’ve ever seen, but it’s quite good. It has great performances, good effects, and it also has a slightly different take on the weaknesses of the runners. It is available on Netflix Instant.<br />
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I give it three out of five running zombies.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/ErSQdtSNniA?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Language: German; Runtime: 59 minutes</div><div>VikingSamurai © 2012</div>Craighttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03917871282489385861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949614651416928191.post-1276879014713564862012-06-11T07:14:00.000-06:002012-06-11T07:14:48.270-06:00Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgo9Xed_Ihixe8gmABZMTdHO_koqGYUYiDofdt_B6aX8hrGepsal05_TRDRSRvBnfL4N-tCULU9apyYWmBSALeWmtl4KGM3fOVvEAhiQTD9sJ96BqhMfF02Z1HOOM1d6IAMeyaD0_wrigQ/s1600/2010-RARE-EXPORTS----A-CH-006.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgo9Xed_Ihixe8gmABZMTdHO_koqGYUYiDofdt_B6aX8hrGepsal05_TRDRSRvBnfL4N-tCULU9apyYWmBSALeWmtl4KGM3fOVvEAhiQTD9sJ96BqhMfF02Z1HOOM1d6IAMeyaD0_wrigQ/s320/2010-RARE-EXPORTS----A-CH-006.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <br />
Happy elves, big fat jolly Santa, flying reindeer, family get togethers; these are all Christmas movie traditions you will not see in the Finnish movie Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale. Think of Rare Exports as the Redneck Scandinavian version of Christmas movies if Redneck Scandinavian movies consisted of a demon Santa Claus, hundreds of wraith-like geriatric elves and slaughter, slaughter, and more slaughter. <br />
The film begins with a group of scientists making a big freaking dig on the top of a cone like mountain deep in the Northern woods of Finland. Two boys from a village of Reindeer herders go to investigate. One of the boys, Pietari, played by Onni Tommila, isn’t convinced that these are miners or mere scientists. He believes that these men are digging in the World’s largest burial mound, the burial mound of Santa Claus. Pietari tries to tell his friend that Santa is not nice at all but a demon of lore that kidnaps children and tortures them for not being good. He goes on to describe how many centuries ago the villagers there trapped Santa in ice and buried him under the mountain. Yeah, this ain’t Miracle on 42nd Street. Pietari tries to warn his father Rauno, played by Jorma Tommila. Rauno is a distraught widower and has no time for Pietari’s foolishness. Pietari takes matters into his own hands and suits up in full hockey gear including a heavily patted bottom. <br />
Strange noises are heard atop the mountain one night and Rauno and the other herders awake to find all of their herd slaughtered. They are pissed and decide to go confront the scientists but when they get to the top of the mountain they find a bottomless giant empty hole and zero scientists. Pietari is really worried at this point and really tries to warn his Dad. No Dice. The next day is where it gets real. Rauno and Pietari find that something has sprung their wolf fall trap. They search the spike lined opening to find a white bearded skinny naked old man. They bring the body to Rauno’s slaughterhouse to find out who the identity of this man. Two other Reindeer herders come over to see what happened. They know that the Wolf trap is illegal and of course their only option is to chop up the old man so no one finds out. Yeah, I solve most of my problems in slaughterhouses too. What the hell?! Before they can chop up the guy, he comes to life. He never speaks but he has a keen interest in little Pietari. Convinced that this is Santa Claus they trap him and try to ransom him to the scientists. When the scientist appears he tells them that this isn’t Santa Claus but one of his many hundred elves. You’ll have to watch to find out who Santa is.<br />
This movie really keeps you on the edge of your seat. Obviously not your typical Christmas movie, but it’s not your typical horror movie either. It leaves a lot up to the imagination. The special effects were good and believable. I particularly enjoyed Jorma Tommila’s performance and the interactions he has with Onni. You could really feel the pain that Rauno felt having to spend another Christmas without his wife and having to care for his son. <br />
Craig and I thought that this should be required Christmas viewing. I swear your kids will not try to see Santa after they watch this movie.<br />
I heartily give this 4 out of 5 slaughtered reindeer!<br />
Rare Exports can be watched instantly on Netflix.<br />
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</div>Craighttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03917871282489385861noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949614651416928191.post-42880087962365605132012-06-10T18:50:00.002-06:002012-07-11T11:19:30.595-06:0013 Assassinsby Craig R.<br />
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I blame John Belushi (those from Gen-Whatever-Comes-After-X may need to look him up). His Samurai Warrior character on Saturday Night Live (back when it used to be funny) made me curious about Samurai movies, which grew into a love of most things Samurai. So, it’s fitting that my first post will be about a Samurai movie.<br />
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The movie in question is 13 Assassins, a 2010 film, directed by Takashi Miike. It’s set during a time of peace in 1800s Feudal Japan. A cruel young Lord Naritsuga rapes and kills at will (the only troubling scenes in the film demonstrate this), since he’s the son of a former Shogun, and the brother of the current one. At the beginning of the film, he is poised to make political moves that will make him even more powerful. Seeing the danger of this, Sir Doi, a senior government official hires Shinzaemon to assassinate Naritsuga. Shinzaemon then recruits 11 more of the most trustworthy and strongest Samurai that, whom Sir Doi knows his nephew Shinroukuro. The 12 plan to ambush Naritsugu on his<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sankin_k%C5%8Dtai"> long journey home</a> from <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edo">Edo</a>. Along the way, they get lost while travelling through the mountains and a hermit guides them to their destination, and becomes the thirteenth member of their group. They then take the village over and convert it into a labyrinthine mousetrap with many camouflaged fortifications, and wait for Naritsuga. That is where the climatic battle happens.<br />
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This is a film of contrasts, there is good and evil, with no in-between. The heroes, Shinzaemon and his men are men of honor, willing to do what is right, knowing that they might not survive. This is a theme that like Western’s, runs through most Samurai movies. In a way, this movie is like Seven Samurai, and The Magnificent Seven. The villain, Naritsuga, has absolutely no redeeming value, he is amoral and cruel, making his foes that much more effective. The only thing missing from that character is a Snidley Whiplash (look it up) mustache, for him to twirl. The only possible gray character is Hanbei, Naritsuga’s right-hand man. He expresses doubts about his lord, but in the end he is a Samurai, and bound to serve his master. The end for these three characters is quite effective.<br />
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I had been wary about this movie, because of Miike’s reputation for making disturbing films. I had tried to watch his film Ichi The Killer, but had to quit about 10 minutes into it. The dude blowing cigarette smoke out of the slits cut in his cheeks was too much for me. So, I was understandably concerned that this would be a gratuitously gory film. In spite of the high body count (over 200 people die in the final act), it has very little blood. There were a couple somewhat disturbing scenes: Naritsuga’s off-screen rape and murder of a subject’s wife, him murdering a child (shooting him with an arrow), and when Shinzaemon is shown a woman whose limbs had been amputated by him. I watched this movie a few months ago, so I’ve had time to digest it. In every aspect, it is a very well-made, and I found it very enjoyable. All of the characters are well-developed and for a more recent reference, the final battle is reminiscent of the one in 300.<br />
I give 13 Assassins 4 out of 5 Top Knots.<br />
You can watch it instantly on Netflix.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/NgPC74-Tde8?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">-Viking Samurai © 2012</div><div></div>Craighttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03917871282489385861noreply@blogger.com3